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"I have volunteered at our neighborhood's public library" - UC prompt 1



gora2867 1 / -  
Nov 23, 2008   #1
Prompt 1 : Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school- and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Experience

Over the past four summers, I have regularly volunteered at our neighborhood's public library. The experience I have gained from my work has not only given me a chance to work well with others, but it also gave me a chance to know more about myself.

I have worked with people of different backgrounds and I have done a variety of jobs. Before volunteering at the library, I used to think that the only job was to make sure that the books were in order. But no ... there were a lot more jobs than just putting back the books on the shelves. Some of the hands-on work , such as fixing a fused light bulb or making a huge castle with just cardboards and glue for arts and crafts for little kids , really made me gain practical knowledge on how things work. With the lessons I have learned from building a cardboard castle and the self - esteem I have gained in building hand made objects, I successfully used this new insight in building a life size boat in my physics class that actually floated in water while carrying 200lbs on top of it. These hands-on work gave me knowledge that I would be able to use everyday. I love figuring out why things work, and I love even more figuring out how to make them work. It gives me self confidence so that when something breaks, I know I will be able to fix it; when something fails, I will be able to adapt ; and when something is hard, I can overcome it.

How does that help the world that I have come from? It helps because I can use my skills in ultimately helping my family and my friends. Life is meant to be lived to its fullest. I find that I learn new things about who I am every day of my life. Recently, I have begun to take full control of my life, to be who I want to be, and to what I want to accomplish. I have changed to view life as an optimist, because I can achieve so much more when I'm happy about life. However, I'm able to accept responsibility when I make mistakes and learn from them. Taking control of my life allows me to live up to my full potential.

EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Nov 23, 2008   #2
Good afternoon :)

Make sure that you don't begin your sentences with conjunctive/transitory words such as "but," "so," or "and."

Make sure that you are properly using spaces in your sentences. For example, "...hands-on work , such as..." should be "...hands-on work, such as..." There are a couple instances of this, so make sure you look carefully and correct all of them before submission.

"...self - esteem" should be "self-esteem."

Avoid using abbreviations in formal academic writing; for instance, "200lbs" should be "200 pounds."

Make sure your subjects and verbs agree. For instance, "These hands-on work gave..." should be "This hands-on work gave me..."

Avoid contractions in formal academic writing; "I'm" should be "I am."

How has this shaped your dreams and aspirations?

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


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