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VOLUNTEERING EXPERIENCE; Gates Millennium- Involvement/ Contributions to Community



NicoleO 3 / 9  
Jan 14, 2013   #1
Another Gates Millennium Essay. Due Jan 16th.
As an active volunteer, I care about my community's well-being. From volunteering at places like the homeless shelters to participating in community street clean-ups, I believe it is my responsibility to build my community as a whole. Earlier this year, littering was a big issue in my community. Littering caused my community's appearance and the quality of life to decrease. Family members, neighbors, and locals constantly complained about the filthy roadsides. Gutters, lawns, alleyways, waterways, parks, lakes, canals, and rivers were all filled with trash. I saw ducks in the canals strangled with soda plastic rings and turtles choking on soda caps. Because of this issue, local residents lived in disgust. Local residents did not walk around my neighborhood because were not prepared to see the littered roadsides and sidewalks.

To solve this problem, I proposed that the local government fund the purchasing of litter pick up tools, sanitation collection vehicles, graffiti removal equipment, litter or ash receptacles, recycling bins, or a pocket ashtray, and produce biodegradable products to protect wildlife. Also, I proposed raising the litter fine up to $1000, which later prevented people from littering in neighborhoods. Months later, this proposal was approved by the mayor. Every Saturday, neighbors from all walks of life came out to help clean the littered streets, sidewalks, and canals. In no time, my community was back in tip-top shape. Because of my effective solution, old neighbors flushed back to our community. We were back on the market.

From every nursing home to non-profit organization, the great feeling that I receive from volunteering in my community is indescribable. Some people do it for the community service hours, but I do it because I have the passion to help people.

After this experience, I felt I like I could accomplish anything. The mere fact that by proposing a community litter clean-up, I saved my community from intense air and water pollution, made me feel like I could save the world. Not only does this experience show me that anything is possible, but it also influenced me to set goals that I initially thought were unachievable.

Someone please help !! I'll edit your essay ASAP.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 14, 2013   #2
You have answered it good, but I wish you specifically named a few places that you volunteered. I mean the names of organizations or clubs. Here you describe your experience in general. If you mention a name with whom you worked it would look more convincing to the admission panel. :) ... Also it's good if you added a little bit of emotions to your writing :)

Overall, your answer sounds very comprehensive :)
Good Luck!
ATesch 1 / 2  
Jan 14, 2013   #3
NicoleO

I believe you show try to show more than tell. Describe how the streets were cluttered with garbage and then state that it was a problem. This is more pleasing to the reader and helps draw them in with the imagery.
OP NicoleO 3 / 9  
Jan 14, 2013   #4
Thank you so much. I'll take your comments into consideration.


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