I want to use this essay for my Tufts University Short answer to the question:
There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood or community--and how it influenced the person you are today. (200-250 words)
Right now its way too long, but do you think it is worth it to just shorten this essay or write a whole new one? Mainly does this essay answer the prompt well? Also if there are any errors or awkward sentences let me know.
Thanks :)
Every Friday evening, peering out my parents' bedroom window, I would anxiously wait for my dad to come home. For the past twenty-two years my father has been the National Wine Manager for two different companies, consecutively and it was those short bursts of excitement when I saw his car pull in the driveway, wondering what he brought me or how long he'd be home this time, that dominated most of my childhood memories. When he was gone I always knew where he was, and where he was going next. I anticipated his phone calls that described the brightness of the Eifel Tower, the grandness of the Statue of Liberty, or even just the softness of the freshly fallen snow outside his hotel room. I would greet him the same way each time, running outside to meet him and begging to know how he had been and which new Beanie Baby he had brought me. When he was home I spent hours sitting on his lap watching football and baseball games, listening to music, or just talking.
My dad loves his job, but his absence grew more and more evident as I grew up. For the first eight year of my life he was gone for about two-thirds of each year, missing birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, and countless accomplishments. Even after changing Wineries he only reduced his travel time to about one-half of year each, and continued to miss important cornerstones of my adolescence. As I aged I started to notice how much of the year he was gone and stated to resent him. I stopped waited for his phone calls and for his car to come into view. Simultaneously, he seemed to stop bringing me presents, which looking back now seemed almost a bribe for forgiveness of his excessive traveling, and stopped calling. Now when he was home we never talked, apart from the generic questions about my school day and the only thing we shared in common was our love for the Giants.
I was never a child of a single parent, but my father's absence has made me feel like my mother has been the only one who could be there from me, emotionally and physically. Growing up I often felt jealous of other children who had good relationships with both parents and silently wished that my father and I were closer. My emotions conflicted with my needs of a real father; I found myself searching for any similarity we had together and waiting for baseball season so that we could have conversations beyond my school work, but at the same time waiting for him to leave again and resenting his presence at home where, in my mind, he didn't fit in.
Growing up I became more withdrawn from people because of the neglect of my father, and it wasn't until my later years of middle school when I started to make new friends, that I realized how grateful I was to have a father at all. Many of my friends were from a single parent household and forced me to understand that even though he might miss some birthdays, my dad still loved me. I no longer wait by the window like my childhood self, but rather wait for the day that my father and I can establish a real relationship. I am no longer entirely bitter about his absence and occasionally I once again feel that prick of excitement that I felt as a child.
There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood or community--and how it influenced the person you are today. (200-250 words)
Right now its way too long, but do you think it is worth it to just shorten this essay or write a whole new one? Mainly does this essay answer the prompt well? Also if there are any errors or awkward sentences let me know.
Thanks :)
Every Friday evening, peering out my parents' bedroom window, I would anxiously wait for my dad to come home. For the past twenty-two years my father has been the National Wine Manager for two different companies, consecutively and it was those short bursts of excitement when I saw his car pull in the driveway, wondering what he brought me or how long he'd be home this time, that dominated most of my childhood memories. When he was gone I always knew where he was, and where he was going next. I anticipated his phone calls that described the brightness of the Eifel Tower, the grandness of the Statue of Liberty, or even just the softness of the freshly fallen snow outside his hotel room. I would greet him the same way each time, running outside to meet him and begging to know how he had been and which new Beanie Baby he had brought me. When he was home I spent hours sitting on his lap watching football and baseball games, listening to music, or just talking.
My dad loves his job, but his absence grew more and more evident as I grew up. For the first eight year of my life he was gone for about two-thirds of each year, missing birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, and countless accomplishments. Even after changing Wineries he only reduced his travel time to about one-half of year each, and continued to miss important cornerstones of my adolescence. As I aged I started to notice how much of the year he was gone and stated to resent him. I stopped waited for his phone calls and for his car to come into view. Simultaneously, he seemed to stop bringing me presents, which looking back now seemed almost a bribe for forgiveness of his excessive traveling, and stopped calling. Now when he was home we never talked, apart from the generic questions about my school day and the only thing we shared in common was our love for the Giants.
I was never a child of a single parent, but my father's absence has made me feel like my mother has been the only one who could be there from me, emotionally and physically. Growing up I often felt jealous of other children who had good relationships with both parents and silently wished that my father and I were closer. My emotions conflicted with my needs of a real father; I found myself searching for any similarity we had together and waiting for baseball season so that we could have conversations beyond my school work, but at the same time waiting for him to leave again and resenting his presence at home where, in my mind, he didn't fit in.
Growing up I became more withdrawn from people because of the neglect of my father, and it wasn't until my later years of middle school when I started to make new friends, that I realized how grateful I was to have a father at all. Many of my friends were from a single parent household and forced me to understand that even though he might miss some birthdays, my dad still loved me. I no longer wait by the window like my childhood self, but rather wait for the day that my father and I can establish a real relationship. I am no longer entirely bitter about his absence and occasionally I once again feel that prick of excitement that I felt as a child.
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