The earthquake that hit Haiti a couple of years ago are still debilitating the people from being able to function properly.
The earthquake that hit Haiti is still affecting the people, who remain unable to function.
Okay. You need to be specific here. How do you know they are unable to function? Have you been to Haiti? This claim is not convincing.There were more innocent lives than the wicked that were killed that day and onward.
God took the lives of more innocent people than wicked people.
How do you know this? Did you know the victims of the Haiti earthquake? This is a serious conclusion that you're coming to, and you don't have anything to back it up. To be honest, you sound like you're making this stuff up.did not stop the innocent from dying in this event, or generically, in events of the past.
What? 1) Why would you say generically? It is unnecessary and confusing. 2) What are you trying to say? That God has killed innocent people since the beginning of time? Then say that. Don't just mention "events in the past" if you aren't going to explain them. It makes your argument hollow.This natural tendency of "survival of the fittest" created people like Adolf Hitler.
Oh my. Do NOT talk about Hitler in your college essay. It is crude, immature, and stale. Furthermore, you don't even connect this argument to your main idea. Thus, besides being offensive, this claim is unnecessary.The majority of this essay sounds fake. You need evidence to back up your claims and convince the reader. I understand that you personally do not believe the point you're trying to prove, but you need to follow the prompt.