This is my essay for Common application. I thought that this topic would allow me to show my own character and voice. Tell me what you think and please be as honest as you can. I am applying for Electrical Engineering in Harvard, Princeton, Cornell, uPenn, Stanford and CalTech
I've always wanted to be an inventor. Since I was a young child, invention always fascinated me. Cartoon characters such as Dexter and "numbah 2" always fascinated me. Those characters built their own robots, planes and computers and used them to fight evil, which I personally found more amazing than superman's brute power or the Flash's super speed.
Yet, as I grew older, I became more interested in real scientists and inventors. My first role model was Ahmed Zewail. He was the first Egyptian to win the Nobel Prize in the field of science and at the time, seemed to be the only scientist who shared my culture. This encouraged me to read more about his research, which in the end, meant I was reading more about science in general due to the advanced level of his research which required me to enhance my scientific knowledge. This helped me a lot as I developed the habit of reading, and as time went, I started to become interested in any new idea I heard about, and usually went to the library or went online to read about that idea and learn more about it. This contributed to m general knowledge and allowed me to know about a lot of different topics and to be able to talk about them easily.
I spent some of my summer time with my grandfather; A civil engineer who loved Math and found pleasure in solving difficult math equations and figuring out riddles. He used to talk to me about his work and how much pleasure he found in it and explained that this is why he was a very successful engineer. Yet, he never encouraged me to do the same work as him; he always told me to do what I like and encouraged me to read more about science and inventions. However, he couldn't stop himself from "pushing" me to love Math. Every day, I would be given a riddle (usually with some math involved), and the reward for this riddle would be extra pocket money. His riddles were always simple yet never easy. They required me to think outside of the box and find different ways to interpret his question. Ironically, when I was only 10, I was able to solve riddles that my parents couldn't solve. I believe that thanks to those summer talks with my grandfather, I grew up to be very good in Math and Science.
My mother allowed me to do things that other mothers viewed as strange and a bit dangerous. While most other kids liked to play with their toys, I liked to dissemble mine. I used to take apart my toys and understand how they worked, and then I would reassemble them and make them do something slightly different. Doing this activity at a young age made me resourceful and creative.
Last year, while I was searching the internet for physics videos, I came across Prof. Richard Feynman. He truly inspired me. Not only was he a great physicist, he was also a great educator and he was truly passionate about what he did. As I read through the first few chapters of "Surely you're joking, Mr. Feynman!" I started to realize what true inventors and scientists were like. I understood the importance of passion towards what you're doing and how critical it was for someone to succeed. I also understood the importance of reading and knowing about more than what you're studying. Finally, I became very thankful for those riddles and short talks that I had with my grandfather. I was also very thankful for having a mother who allowed me to take toys apart, see how they work and reconstruct them so they do something different.
Hey,
ok now in the first paragraph--- you have used fascinated me ... a lotta times...try to replace it by enthralled or something or just. cut it down to.. the innovations that characters like dexter etc... fascinated me to mimic (or do something like) them in the future, and from there on began my love for robots... etc which they built
in the 2nd stanza replace... and usually went to the library or used the internet to read about that idea and learn more about it.
Also one thing i would like to incluse would be Feynman;s experience in university studying science... Its mentioned in the book!!( ive read it and love it also and am pretty sure the reader who'll be judging your essay will have read it also) so mention about how attending university made him have a over all experience. step out of his comfort zone... etc!!
umm... since we both are applying for engineering...and you were kind enough to help me... if you would like i can send you my common app essay... im not too comfortable with it being put on this site... email me at siddhantsaboo@gmail.com
Anyways the ideas portrayed are great!!
Best of Luck!
It's a little bit all over the place. Try to focus on your overall goal. What do you want to tell these schools about you? You want to show that you can offer them something. It would also be a good idea to consolidate some of your sentences and vary the sentence structure a little bit, as it does seem a bit choppy at times.
Good luck!
