Hey guys~
This is my Why Wellesley essay. It will be submitted in 24 hours so I really need some help. Please help me check it and I will check yours back :)
I'm a Chinese girl. And Bingxin in the first paragraph is the very famous Chinese writer who once studied in Wellesley; Catherine Watson is the heroine in the Mona Lisa Smile.( I bet you already know that~)
Please be harsh. Any comments or corrections are welcomed. Thanks ~^.^~
[prompt]
When choosing a college, you are choosing an intellectual community and a place where you believe that you can live, learn, and flourish. To this end, the Board of Admission is interested in knowing your reasons for applying to Wellesley College and how Wellesley will help you to realize your personal and academic goals.
[my essay]
What do everyman see underneath the Mona Lisa Smile? They see the smile of Mona Lisa... But Catherine Watson sees the possibilities beyond the image, and compels the girls into deeper and independent thinking; What do common people see from the Lake Waban? They see the swaying breeze and the floating tree shadows. But Bingxin saw the free spirit it represents, and passed it down in the Letters to young readers. Indeed, Wellesley hails probing and in-depth thinking, which makes that inspiring slogan-"make a difference"-a reality on every its exceptional woman.
And for me, I saw the unbalanced development of Chinese education behind that CCTV documentary of poor kids, and I was there to help; I saw the dying of many ancient Chinese traditions behind the Cultural Heritage Day, and I volunteered in Folk Museum; I saw more - the kids in India that couldn't get clean water to drink, the unjust treatment of woman in many parts of the world - that I wish I could help but cannot find a way. But Wellesley can make this happen. And after I heard several on-line presentations on Wintersession Program of Albright Institute, I was even more firmly convinced that here in Wellesley, I will gain not only insights into the real world, but also the strength and power to realize my dreams. I am a boat ready to sail in the ocean, waiting for a wind of Wellesley to guide my navigation.
This is my Why Wellesley essay. It will be submitted in 24 hours so I really need some help. Please help me check it and I will check yours back :)
I'm a Chinese girl. And Bingxin in the first paragraph is the very famous Chinese writer who once studied in Wellesley; Catherine Watson is the heroine in the Mona Lisa Smile.( I bet you already know that~)
Please be harsh. Any comments or corrections are welcomed. Thanks ~^.^~
[prompt]
When choosing a college, you are choosing an intellectual community and a place where you believe that you can live, learn, and flourish. To this end, the Board of Admission is interested in knowing your reasons for applying to Wellesley College and how Wellesley will help you to realize your personal and academic goals.
[my essay]
What do everyman see underneath the Mona Lisa Smile? They see the smile of Mona Lisa... But Catherine Watson sees the possibilities beyond the image, and compels the girls into deeper and independent thinking; What do common people see from the Lake Waban? They see the swaying breeze and the floating tree shadows. But Bingxin saw the free spirit it represents, and passed it down in the Letters to young readers. Indeed, Wellesley hails probing and in-depth thinking, which makes that inspiring slogan-"make a difference"-a reality on every its exceptional woman.
And for me, I saw the unbalanced development of Chinese education behind that CCTV documentary of poor kids, and I was there to help; I saw the dying of many ancient Chinese traditions behind the Cultural Heritage Day, and I volunteered in Folk Museum; I saw more - the kids in India that couldn't get clean water to drink, the unjust treatment of woman in many parts of the world - that I wish I could help but cannot find a way. But Wellesley can make this happen. And after I heard several on-line presentations on Wintersession Program of Albright Institute, I was even more firmly convinced that here in Wellesley, I will gain not only insights into the real world, but also the strength and power to realize my dreams. I am a boat ready to sail in the ocean, waiting for a wind of Wellesley to guide my navigation.
