The white banner hanging between Plane trees was now painted with fluorescent watercolors reflecting the colorful lights dangled in the tranquil night. It was covered by names of hundreds of students from all over Beijing. Amid those, there was mine.
Last several months, from informing representatives of participant schools to conducting the rehearsal of ceremonies, from purchasing colorful balloons for decoration to coming up ideas for "Global Village", I never really slowed down my pace. Despite leading the organizing committee and a legion of volunteers, I was also busy with writing papers for the meeting that I had to sleep in the classroom for several times.
However, Beijing Model United Nations is an invaluable experience. Now I know leadership is about service, coordination and communication. It is about equality rather than priority. I learn to regard mine as a common name in this white banner, yet silently take biggest share of responsibility at the same time.
If you leave some comments to mine I will also comment on yours. Please be harsh. Thanks a lot! :)
HI! :)
Well first off, i am not sure what your topic is, but your first sentence doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, and it also seems to be a run-on sentence. You might want to look over it.
Also, where it says "Amid those, there was mine.", i think it would sound better if you said "Amid those, was mine."
"Last several months, from informing representatives of participant schools to conducting the rehearsal of ceremonies, from purchasing colorful balloons for decoration to coming up ideas for "Global Village", I never really slowed down my pace." INSTEAD TRY, "In the last several months, i've been informing representatives of participant schools, conducting the rehearsals of ceremonies, purchasing colorful balloons for decorations, and coming up with ideas for "Global Village", and i have yet to slow down my pace.
Well thats all i could come up with. I hope this helps! :)
Well, I don't like it as much as your main common essay....But i think it's fine.
Good Luck and Tick Tock
Because I don't know what to write beside this topic.... a crappy short answer doesn't matter too much I guess?
I agree with VVCepheiA. My college counselor warned me before that try to avoid something common like community service or club activity. Because colleges want to know something new that's not on your application. Just advice,,,
