Hi, I need your help with my essay urgently! Please check my grammar and let me know honestly what you think about my essay. I know the ending paragraphy needs a little work, so please give me some suggestions. Is it interesting enough? Does it lack something? Thank you so much!! :)
PROMPT: Beyond your impressive academic credentials and extracurricular accomplishments, what else makes you unique and colorful? Provide us with some limited measure of your personality.
We know that nobody fits neatly into 500 words or less, but you can provide us with some suggestion of The Type of Person You Are. Anything goes! Inspire us, impress us or just make us laugh. Think of this optional opportunity as Show and Tell by proxy and with an attitude.
People are often surprised to find that I'm an international student. "Your English is so good!" or "You don't have an accent at all!" I grew up in Jakarta, Indonesia, where the language spoken at home was English. My parents studied abroad, and encouraged me to practice English for the breadth of communication the language brings. I didn't realize this significance until I lived abroad. Mastering the language has brought me confidence and amazing opportunities. I enjoy meeting new people and feel most comfortable public speaking in international debate competitions.
I moved to Washington State two years ago, where I still face issues with adapting. I was raised with old Chinese traditions and Indonesian cultures. Before moving here, I have never heard of General Tao's chicken. I'm continuously on the quest for super spicy Indonesian hot sauce, as no meal is complete without it. I miss the sunshine, and I blame my lack of vitamin D on Seattle's inability to stop raining. Every morning I unconsciously wear a t-shirt and sandals, then reluctantly change into a thick sweater and boots before going out the door. I love the crisp smell of pine trees. I hate that my parents are 10,000 miles away.
I have an optimistic outlook towards life except when it comes to bicycles. When I was seven, I catapulted into the air after crashing into a truck while riding my bicycle. I have been traumatic of bicycles ever since. I've always wanted to become an astronaut, so I could see the earth from space and experience defying gravity. After reading To Kill a Mockingbird, I wanted to become a lawyer like Atticus Finch. I remember the horror of seeing grey, damaged coral reefs in my visit to the Bunaken Islands. Since then, I vowed to help improve the environment. I cannot throw away trash without properly recycling them.
I'm always hungry for sushi.
Travelling is my favorite activity. Like delving into the unknown, being somewhere new always excites me. My dream is to visit France one day. For now, I'm content with collecting French-inspired posters and mini Eiffel towers, learning French, and listening to Édith Piaf. My favorite book is The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. I can't choose between Ecuador and Thailand as my favorite past destination. I think the Sant Ocean Hall in the Smithsonian Museum is the happiest place on earth. While I was interning in DC last summer, my stress would disappear under the exhibit's calming sounds of the ocean.
I used to be anemic, and I think donating blood is the best gift one can give. The possible power of a voice in creating change always inspires me to be an actor of change. I can't wait to debate cases with the Mock Trial team at William & Mary. And continue my journey, wherever it takes me.
PROMPT: Beyond your impressive academic credentials and extracurricular accomplishments, what else makes you unique and colorful? Provide us with some limited measure of your personality.
We know that nobody fits neatly into 500 words or less, but you can provide us with some suggestion of The Type of Person You Are. Anything goes! Inspire us, impress us or just make us laugh. Think of this optional opportunity as Show and Tell by proxy and with an attitude.
People are often surprised to find that I'm an international student. "Your English is so good!" or "You don't have an accent at all!" I grew up in Jakarta, Indonesia, where the language spoken at home was English. My parents studied abroad, and encouraged me to practice English for the breadth of communication the language brings. I didn't realize this significance until I lived abroad. Mastering the language has brought me confidence and amazing opportunities. I enjoy meeting new people and feel most comfortable public speaking in international debate competitions.
I moved to Washington State two years ago, where I still face issues with adapting. I was raised with old Chinese traditions and Indonesian cultures. Before moving here, I have never heard of General Tao's chicken. I'm continuously on the quest for super spicy Indonesian hot sauce, as no meal is complete without it. I miss the sunshine, and I blame my lack of vitamin D on Seattle's inability to stop raining. Every morning I unconsciously wear a t-shirt and sandals, then reluctantly change into a thick sweater and boots before going out the door. I love the crisp smell of pine trees. I hate that my parents are 10,000 miles away.
I have an optimistic outlook towards life except when it comes to bicycles. When I was seven, I catapulted into the air after crashing into a truck while riding my bicycle. I have been traumatic of bicycles ever since. I've always wanted to become an astronaut, so I could see the earth from space and experience defying gravity. After reading To Kill a Mockingbird, I wanted to become a lawyer like Atticus Finch. I remember the horror of seeing grey, damaged coral reefs in my visit to the Bunaken Islands. Since then, I vowed to help improve the environment. I cannot throw away trash without properly recycling them.
I'm always hungry for sushi.
Travelling is my favorite activity. Like delving into the unknown, being somewhere new always excites me. My dream is to visit France one day. For now, I'm content with collecting French-inspired posters and mini Eiffel towers, learning French, and listening to Édith Piaf. My favorite book is The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. I can't choose between Ecuador and Thailand as my favorite past destination. I think the Sant Ocean Hall in the Smithsonian Museum is the happiest place on earth. While I was interning in DC last summer, my stress would disappear under the exhibit's calming sounds of the ocean.
I used to be anemic, and I think donating blood is the best gift one can give. The possible power of a voice in creating change always inspires me to be an actor of change. I can't wait to debate cases with the Mock Trial team at William & Mary. And continue my journey, wherever it takes me.
Do You Need