'I wish to become a Lincesed Practical Nurse' - LPN entrance essay

the essay below must answer three questions, Why do you wish to become a nurse, Why do you believe you will be a good nurse, and what will your responsibilities and duties will be. I think I answered all the questions, if there is any thing that needs changed or would sound better rephrased I would appreciate your in put, I would also appreciate any suggestions on punication. thank you

i wish to become a Lincesed Practical Nurse so that i can participate in the care of patients and their families. i also wish to become a nurse to be able to assist patients in there recovery with care and medication along with compassion empathy and understanding.

I believe i will make a great nurse because i know the dedication and commitment it takes to be a devoted lincesed practical nurse. Personally i think i would be a good nurse also because i care about every type of person i will be caring for.

As a lincesed practical nurse i expect my duties to include proper care of patients along with the proper safety that is needed when caring for patients while using the techniquies i was taught during my training in order to become an lpn.

i believe the responsiblities of an lpn will be to know the rules and regulations of the facilities i am employed. An LPN must also be able to follow directions given by the person in charge so that the patients recieve the best care possible. A lpn must also be able to follow through with assignments to protect the safety of the patient she is in charge of in order for them to return to their daily lives as soon as possible in a dignified manner

Okay, the main problem that I see with your essay is that it has cookie cutter answers. These are all simple and basic answers that any potential nursing student will give. Your essay lacks the compassion and advocacy that most people who enter the nursing position usually embody. You should create a personal connection between yourself and your desire to become a nurse. Was there something in your life that pulled you towards nursing? That could be the answer to the question "Why do you want to become a nurse?". Has anything in your life prepared you for a nursing career? That is what holds the answer to the question "Why do you believe you would make a good nurse?". And Finally, The duties and responsibilities. The answer to this questions lies deeper than the usual nurse duties of taking vital signs and charting patient progress. You need to create an answer that will make the reader understand that you are willing to go above and beyond the normal expectations of a nurse in order to do your job efficiently and well. The problems with punctuation are not the major concern at the moment. The main concern is getting the essay to answer the prompts properly.

There is a great possibility that you can produce a more personalized nursing personal statement using the aforementioned guidelines. You are trying to convince the admissions board that you are a person who has a nursing advocacy. You understand the meaning of the job, and that you are willing to be selfless for the benefit of your patients. That is how you can entice the admissions board to look further into your application.

hey first you NEED to fix for grammer problems like "I" should be capitalized always!
But other than that I think its great essay i would perffer if you said more about your ambition and your challeges things like that !

Overall it looks good. I would suggest if you can separate each question into different paragraph to make it more readable. Few more points I am highlighting below. Hope this helps.


I would suggest you use something like "I believe i will make a great nurse because I am dedicated..etc" than simply saying I know.


Personally i think i would be a good nurse also

how would I show compassion in my essay.

Here are some ideas for you to consider in regards to how you can show compassion. You could show compassion in your essay but referring to your private life experiences in caring for the sick. This could be in the form of taking care of an ailing relative, neighbor, friend, or stranger whose relationship with your was further strengthened by the illness that you helped the person get through. Having taken care of the ill, you could say that you developed a compassion for them because you realized how hard it was for them to suffer their illness alone because you could only help them feel comfortable to a certain extent. Compassion is all about having empathy for the sick. By empathizing with them, you develop compassion and an advocacy because you wish to help them get better and feel more comfortable as they recover, try to recover, or come to their end of life, depending upon what their illness allows for. You can talk about the suffering that you witnessed and how that changed your outlook in life about the sick and their needs. That will show the development of your compassion and advocacy as well.

I believe i will make be a great nurse
As for the the hole meaning I think that you must show passion and love more deeply in order to persuade with a typical essay because your arguments are general and standard In a word such a job require a sense which is far from the usual

I have rewritten the essay and I would like some new in put on it. I hope this one says that I want to be a great nurse. I would appreciate some grammar help as well. thank you

Why I wish to become a nurse?
I wish to become a nurse for many reasons one of the biggest reasons I wish to become a nurse is so that I can feel the satisfaction, and challenge of knowing that I helped care for someone everyday and that they received the best possible care that I could provide as a nurse. I assisted in caring for my grandmother during her battle with cancer during that time I seen that the nurses are not just involved in providing care with medicine but also with compassion and understanding not only to the patient but also to their families.

Why do I believe that I would be a good nurse?
I believe that I would make a good nurse because I am understand the dedication and the commitment that it takes to be a nurse. I believe that I would make a good nurse because I am able to show empathy, and sympathy to every type of person. I believe that I will make a good nurse because I have a good understanding of what it takes to be a nurse after watching my mother work as a nurse my whole life and seeing the difference that she made in her patients lives.

What do you think your duties and responsibilities will be?
As a nurse I expect my duties to include proper care of patients. My duties would also be to provide proper safety to the patients I am caring for and also use the proper safety techniques taught during my training to become a nurse.

As a nurse I believe my responsibilities will be to know the rules and regulations of the facility I am employed. A nurse must also be able to follow directions given by the person in charge so that you can provide the best possible care to the patient. Must also be able to follow through with assignments to protect the care of the patients your caring for in order for them to return to daily life as soon as possible.

You need to learn to use more punctuation marks. Your sentences become hard to read because there is no portion for the reader to pause. The pauses, periods, are important because is delivers the meaning of the paragraph by allowing the reader a chance to pause and understand the paper. In its current form, your intentions are all strewn together in tremendously long sentences. Try to edit the sentences down using periods so that the essence of each paragraph will be fully understood. Take for example:


- I wish to become a nurse for many reasons. O ne of the biggest reasons I wish to become...
- See how that allows the reader to understand that you will be mentioning the reasons yo want to become a nurse?


- I assisted in caring for my grandmother during her battle with cancer. During that time...
- First you state a fact, then you state what you learned from the experience. Two separate but connected topics. Do you see the flow?


- just a grammatical correction there.


- ... for every type
- grammar correction


- and I will also be expected to use...


- Excellent. I would like to suggest an addition though which I believe will make the conclusion even stronger. You can say something to the effect that you will hold yourself personally accountable for the disposition of the patient during his stay under your care. So you will do you best to treat not only the illness, the patient as well by practicing holistic nursing approaches whenever necessary.

you need to pay attention to the flowness of your ideas...