Could someone critique and give some feedback on my essay? My writing skills are not the best. Any help is greatly appreciated.
Please provide a statement (appr. 250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.
My reason for transferring is simply because I wish to further my education. Although my experience at Hudson Valley Community College has been incredible, it is only a 2-year school and I am not able to receive the higher level of education that I am seeking. Starting out at a community college was one of the best decisions I have made thus far. It has allowed me to figure out where I wished to go with my education and career. When I first started college I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I believe that this had a lot to do with the fact I had not done as well as I had hope to my first few semesters of college.
While at University at Albany I hope to be provided the tools and education needed to prepare myself for graduate school. I feel that the UAlbany will provide me and my future with the necessary skills to be an essential component to the field I will work in. This University has the ability teach me valuable life lessons. I can only obtain this by going to a higher-caliber college. These valuable lessons can help me to become a better communicator and a better listener. These attributes I will obtain will create the needed leadership skills to be the most proficient I can possible be at my craft. I hope to be able to become more proficient in what I have already learned and acquire new skills. Once I have earned a bachelor's degree I hope to go on to graduate school to get a PhD in Molecular Biology.
Please provide a statement (appr. 250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.
My reason for transferring is simply because I wish to further my education. Although my experience at Hudson Valley Community College has been incredible, it is only a 2-year school and I am not able to receive the higher level of education that I am seeking. Starting out at a community college was one of the best decisions I have made thus far. It has allowed me to figure out where I wished to go with my education and career. When I first started college I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I believe that this had a lot to do with the fact I had not done as well as I had hope to my first few semesters of college.
While at University at Albany I hope to be provided the tools and education needed to prepare myself for graduate school. I feel that the UAlbany will provide me and my future with the necessary skills to be an essential component to the field I will work in. This University has the ability teach me valuable life lessons. I can only obtain this by going to a higher-caliber college. These valuable lessons can help me to become a better communicator and a better listener. These attributes I will obtain will create the needed leadership skills to be the most proficient I can possible be at my craft. I hope to be able to become more proficient in what I have already learned and acquire new skills. Once I have earned a bachelor's degree I hope to go on to graduate school to get a PhD in Molecular Biology.