150 word EC: Yemen in MUN, Bravo delegate

prompts: (they all ask essentially the same thing..except for maybe Duke. do you think I could reuse this for all of them?)

Duke: Please discuss one of your extracurricular activities that has required a particularly significant time commitment or that has played a meaningful role in your personal development. (Please limit your response to no more than 150 words.)

Stanford: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences (150 WORD LIMIT).

Harvard: Briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences.

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Imagine sitting in the United Nations Human Rights Committee meeting. The topics are women's rights and sex trafficking, and you are the delegate to Yemen. Well, so much for your speech on gender equality in your nation. Thankfully, Model United Nations is not the real United Nations, so you still have a chance at being taken seriously in this committee. But, quickly- think of another speech, it is almost your turn on the speaker's list! Plus, the delegates to Afghanistan and Kenya are preparing to team up in a resolution bloc against you: how rude.

Your impromptu speaking skills and thoroughly researched resolutions earn you at least an honorable mention award. Plus, naming all twenty-eight member states of the European Union definitely impressed the French and British delegates, who were rather disappointed that they could not use their veto power outside the Security Council.

Bravo to you, dear delegate, bravo.
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I'm at exactly 150 words here.
Any suggestions/ feedback is welcome!

or here's another version- this time from my point of view

The United Nations Human Rights Committee is restless. The topics are women's rights and sex trafficking, and I am the delegate to Yemen. Well, so much for my speech on gender equality within my nation, considering the amazing one just delivered by the delegates to Japan. Thankfully, Model United Nations is not the real United Nations, so there is still a chance to make an impact a resolution. But first, I need to think of another speech, especially since I just heard that the Afghani and Kenyan delegates are teaming-up in a resolution bloc against me: how rude.

Luckily, my impromptu speech and thoroughly researched resolution earn me at least an "Outstanding Delegate Award." Plus, naming all twenty-eight nations in the European Union definitely impressed the French and British delegates, who were rather disappointed that they could not use their veto power outside the Security Council.

Bravo, dear delegate, bravo.

To be perfectly honest, your short answer seemed completely unremarkable and undistinguishable. The schools that you're applying to will see hundreds of short answers like these and I'm sure you want to distinguish yourself from the rest of the applicant pool. To do that you're going to have make it more personal and you need to find a way to add that "spark" or "fire" to your words. That's what Duke, Stanford, and Harvard are looking for.

By the way, you can reuse it for all three.

Oh, I would also suggest staying away from the "Imagine this..." or "Imagine that..." beginning. Not only is it somewhat cliched, it usually leads to a subpar piece of writing.