Let me know what you think in all aspects of the essay, both grammatical and feedback related. I think it needs quite a bit of work so please be specific. Honestly, it is one of my worst works but thats why it needs editing.
As a writer, there are days I sit down to an empty computer screen with nowhere to go and a report due in 3 hours. I usually try to just think of a beginning and an end. I may not know how I am going to get to the end, but I know where I want it to be. Yet, I am not worried because the journey of writing is what makes writing beautiful. It is the pursuit that makes it illustrious. The hardships within a story will make it interesting and will only drive the reader if it drives the writer first. In the end, I'll always finish with content for what I wrote, or else I wouldn't turn it in. The same is true in life. To master an art or craft is a grand endeavor but is only worthwhile because you must first endure rigorous conditions. If everyone could overcome such obstacles, it would not be a spectacle to do so. People who can overcome would need aberrant characteristics; they would need characteristics that reflected Vires, Artes, and Mores. When
Even in the most seemingly insignificant instances, Vires can be found. When someone gets an order wrong at McDonald's, most of the employees back away and just try to fix the problem while blaming it on certain people. They cannot stand up and say they or someone else had made a mistake. One day specifically, a man came in and said his whole order was wrong. He started yelling at everyone behind the counter and was asking for whoever was responsible. People were pointing fingers and were doing nothing to fix the order. In contrast, I briskly walked up, told him it was my fault, and that I would fix his order right away. I asked him for his receipt to see where we made a mistake. After, I quickly retrieved the correct items and handed it back to the man with a smile. Surprisingly his attitude changed, he thanked me for my respectfulness and prompt response then walked out. Overall, everything turned out fine; someone just needed to stand up.
Simple obstacles should not be difficult for people to overcome, but unfortunately they are. By no means am I calling this a "rigorous condition" or a "grand endeavor", but it is an obstacle nonetheless. More often in this age people are less willing to go the extra mile simply either they do not think it can be done or its not worth accomplishing. Every life will have its obstacles, big and small, and regardless of its nature everyone should strive to accomplish what they can. Great things come of those who try; America could not have made it to the moon without undying determination. As a worker, a scholar, and a person in general, I have followed this concept and will continue to do so even if I am the only one trying at all.
As a writer, there are days I sit down to an empty computer screen with nowhere to go and a report due in 3 hours. I usually try to just think of a beginning and an end. I may not know how I am going to get to the end, but I know where I want it to be. Yet, I am not worried because the journey of writing is what makes writing beautiful. It is the pursuit that makes it illustrious. The hardships within a story will make it interesting and will only drive the reader if it drives the writer first. In the end, I'll always finish with content for what I wrote, or else I wouldn't turn it in. The same is true in life. To master an art or craft is a grand endeavor but is only worthwhile because you must first endure rigorous conditions. If everyone could overcome such obstacles, it would not be a spectacle to do so. People who can overcome would need aberrant characteristics; they would need characteristics that reflected Vires, Artes, and Mores. When
Even in the most seemingly insignificant instances, Vires can be found. When someone gets an order wrong at McDonald's, most of the employees back away and just try to fix the problem while blaming it on certain people. They cannot stand up and say they or someone else had made a mistake. One day specifically, a man came in and said his whole order was wrong. He started yelling at everyone behind the counter and was asking for whoever was responsible. People were pointing fingers and were doing nothing to fix the order. In contrast, I briskly walked up, told him it was my fault, and that I would fix his order right away. I asked him for his receipt to see where we made a mistake. After, I quickly retrieved the correct items and handed it back to the man with a smile. Surprisingly his attitude changed, he thanked me for my respectfulness and prompt response then walked out. Overall, everything turned out fine; someone just needed to stand up.
Simple obstacles should not be difficult for people to overcome, but unfortunately they are. By no means am I calling this a "rigorous condition" or a "grand endeavor", but it is an obstacle nonetheless. More often in this age people are less willing to go the extra mile simply either they do not think it can be done or its not worth accomplishing. Every life will have its obstacles, big and small, and regardless of its nature everyone should strive to accomplish what they can. Great things come of those who try; America could not have made it to the moon without undying determination. As a worker, a scholar, and a person in general, I have followed this concept and will continue to do so even if I am the only one trying at all.
