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Writing about significant challenge in life or something important that didn't go according to plan.

madeinheaven 1 / -  
Oct 8, 2017   #1
I am currently applying to university and one of the essays needed there is the "Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?" essay.

The essay itself is below:

decision for the future

Challenging situations are the ones which determine ourselves and whatever they are, they shape us and they change us. As for me, it was the time when I have decided what I want to be in the future. Drawing, law, economics, and other fields were an open list of opportunities for me, however my thoughts were clear that physics and math are the ones I desire to study.

In the world I come from, these professions, although being very prestigious, are considered non-profitable. The students graduating from universities struggle to find a job fitting their degrees and the only future they see is becoming something they do not want to become. By enumerating these arguments opposing my choice, the bulk of opposition coming from the community I live in is not surprising.

The opposition was first to come from my parents - the people I trust and honour the most. Even to consider them as the ones opposing my will was a wonder to me. Therefore they leaving me alone to bend in the community of opposing people was the main dish on the course of challenge.

Hardness of the choice has certainly brought me into a river of overthinking the matter and possibly changing my mind about it. However, after considering abundant number of options, I thought of what right do I have to call myself a person if I even cannot defend my beliefs and opinions I think to be true.

I would like to hear out any advices according the essay.
Vuthy 1 / 1  
Oct 8, 2017   #2
I think that's fine.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,734 3791  
Oct 9, 2017   #3
Sardor, this prompt is one that seeks to learn your ability to deal with stressful situations. The story you have to be telling is one that you have already faced, sought a resolution to, and successfully accomplished. The story that you shared is still a work in progress that does not share any of the mandatory elements of the response. It would be better if you revised this essay to reflect how your parents did not support your desire to study in the STEM field and the other obstacles to your path. The conflict will be how you had to overcome that opposition to your desire to study in this field. The conflict resolution will be how you won them over and convinced them to support your desire to enroll in this field. That will better respond to the question of how you managed the situation (to your benefit). Now, if that is not the case with your situation, then I suggest that you change the story that you are sharing with the reviewer using this prompt. This story is just a reflection essay that does not really suit the prompt needs and as such, will not be beneficial to your application once it is read for consideration.

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