Yale Supplement- The Phenomenon of Link hopping.

Hi, thank you for your time and interest!

This is what I wrote to the Yale Specific question in the Common App: Write about something you love to do

I have the feeling it sounds a little incomplete- is it just me, or do you think so too? My teacher didn't seem to, but I would appreciate a second opinion.

A click, two clicks, and there appears a new story.

I start with Raja Ravi Varma, and the cheery 'Read more' tag invites me to read about the Travancore Royal family. Another click at a link in the page, and I am off- reading about Mughal emperors and the East India Company. Two clicks later I'm reading about Elihu Yale, the first President of the Madras presidency, my hometown.

The sheer sense of discovery nearly knocks me off my chair.

In between research for projects, and on aimless rambles across the length of cyberspace, I let the mouse lead me to nuggets of information on various matters. While researching Lord Keynes, I take a break and let my electronic Virgil guide me- several links later, I establish a relation between the legendary 20th-century economist and the Chronicles of Narnia movie. There is something inexpressibly exhilarating about the sensation- synapses fire, thoughts and facts link together; the jigsaw is completed, and there is, at last, illumination.

Unfettered by the bonds of research topics, unshackled by the chains of syllabi, the pursuit of knowledge opens up in all its glory- and it is intoxicating

word count: 192/200

I would try to mention more specifically what you are doing here and for what purpose.
These short essays are a great way to tell the officers what you value and that isn't conveyed by your essays.
However, your writing is great!

Good luck :)

Hey,

The way you're telling the story is really good! I really like how you connect the internet with discovering new information and trying to establish connections between these discoveries. But I think you could put maybe less examples of discoveries you made and explain a little bit more why you decided to read about these topics and what is it that interested you from them.

And also as it was said before, It can't be inferred what is it that you love to do here, we just know you're someone who likes to learn things on the internet and read about multplie subjects, but I think you could explain a bit more why are you doing this and what's the activity you're trying to explain with this.

Malavika, your creative representation in your essay is highly imaginative and definitely hooks the reviewer in. However, you focused too much on creativity and not at all on something that you love to do. There are number of avenues that the essay can actually go down. Either you love to surf the internet and just read on general information about topics you enjoy or, you love to research subjects based on internet search results. The fact that there are 2 avenues that your response can go down means that you need to pick one of the avenues to better develop in the essay. Like what the others here have said, you need to better identify the activity because your narrative is a bit abstract in presentation. I am not sure what it is that you are trying to convey in the essay as the activity that you love to do. So a little clarification in that aspects is necessary and will go a long way towards improving your response.