30 year old returning to college, what broad perspective do I bring to the engineering classroom

Prompt: Describe how you could bring a broad perspective to the engineering classroom. Factors to discuss include, but are not limited to: multi-cultural awareness, activities, or accomplishments; educational background and goals; living experiences, such as growing up in a disadvantaged or unusual environment; and special interests or talents. (Limit to 250 words)

Response:

unorthodox academic journey

When I look back at the span of my academic journey, 13 years and counting, it seems unorthodox. The majority of that journey is rife with failure and inconsistency, showcasing a lack of goals or perspective. When I first started I wasn't prepared or even committed to earning a degree. Moving out on my own right out of high school, working became my focus. Over the years that work would take me around the world, from the shores of Miami beach to the ultramodern cityscape of Dubai. During that time, I experienced multiple cultures and ways of life, I experienced a world other than my own. Working and making my own way allowed me to gain perspective on life and what I wanted out of it. The strangeness of that isn't lost on me, as most pursue higher education to prepare for work, I've done just the opposite.

As a 30-year-old student I've found the dynamic between myself and my younger colleagues to be enlightening. On the cusp of a generational gap, it makes for unique exchanges in perspectives when working together. Challenging each other with ideas and viewpoints to find a middle ground often improved the quality of our work. When I think about what I can bring to the engineering classroom I focus on my classmates, offering them a window into the world I've experienced. I hope to use that in helping them challenge the status quo and break away from norms, elevating the quality of our work.

Thoughts: Right now I'm pretty unsatisfied with this, I feel like it might be way too vague and not really answering the question properly. Any help in focusing this down would be much appreciated.

@RSG335 Open the essay with the second paragraph instead. That way you create an interesting hook for the reviewer. The "cusp of generation gap" reference really drew me in and I felt sorry that you put that at the end. I feel that you can better focus the essay if you discuss the generation gap first and then create a second sentence that will contain information about what you learned from your world travels. Don't refer to any negatives that you might have. That is the last thing you want the reviewer to learn about you. Instead, explain in summary form, what you learned professionally or personally from these travels and indicate a desire to share these learned experiences with your classmates for everyone's betterment both in and outside of the classroom. Presenting that focused information in 2 paragraphs should help you deliver a very clear and interesting presentation of what you, as the older classmate, can help bring to the Engineering classroom.

@Holt

Thanks for the suggestions. I did some revision, but I still feel I'm not quite there yet.

I thought about expanding on what I've learned from my work and travels but the word limit is really making that difficult no matter how hard I try and summarize.

Current Draft:

As a 30-year-old student, I've found the dynamic between myself and my younger classmates to be enlightening. On the cusp of a generational gap, it makes for unique exchanges in perspectives when collaborating. A clash of worldviews often created a dialectic environment and a benefit to our submitted work.

Looking back at the span of my academic journey, 13 years and counting, it seems unorthodox. When I first started I wasn't committed to earning a degree. Moving out on my own right out of high school, working became my focus. Over the years that work would take me around the world, from the shores of Miami Beach to the ultramodern cityscape of Dubai. During that time, I experienced multiple cultures and ways of life, I experienced a world other than my own. Working and making my own way allowed me to gain maturity and perspective on life and what I wanted out of it. The strangeness of that isn't lost on me, as most pursue higher education to prepare for work, I've done just the opposite.

When I think about what I can bring to the engineering classroom I recall what I've brought to my recent classrooms at Bellevue College. The ability to offer a window into the world I've experienced and matured in. I hope to use that experience to help them challenge the status quo and break away from norms, elevating not just the quality of our work, but our views on the world ahead.

RSGOERTZ, I really admire your writing skills and I hope your essay hits the jackpot at the end of the day. My only worry is that you have not really specified a particular work. You have to find a way to mention that work and tell the reviewer how it took you to so and so places and the specific experience you gained during the period. That way, you will succeed in making the reviewer see the exact thing you are bring to the table at the engineering classroom. Also, do not be confuse by the outlined probable contents of the essay as listed in the prompt. You are not meant to write on everyone of them. You are just required to choose from them the one(s) you can elaborately describe in details as it affects you. Having said that, I can assure you that your current essay is not way far from the real thing. You just need to do little adjustments here and there.