Hi everyone! I would love some feed back to the first supplement essay I wrote for University of Michigan. The essay is still in its beginning stages so yea :P
Essay #1 (Required for all applicants. Approximately 250 words)
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.
"Three years ago, I decided to upload videos of me creating YouTube banner arts and desktop wallpapers on my YouTube channel. I just wanted to have some fun creating art on Photoshop inspired by video game characters and put them into perspectives and personalities different from how we knew them. However, I've never expected to meet a group of friends who encouraged we encouraged each other to continue to express our creativity through our love of video games and our interests in software. Our small group later started a community channel where we all uploaded our own videos from playing our favorite games to me continuing creating artworks. As one of the channel's co-founders, my goal for us is to express ourselves and bring joy to others who also has the same interests as we do through doing what we love. Without each other's contributions and encouragement, our community channel won't be growing at a steady pace and bring joy to ourselves and the others."
Thanks!
Essay #1 (Required for all applicants. Approximately 250 words)
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.
"Three years ago, I decided to upload videos of me creating YouTube banner arts and desktop wallpapers on my YouTube channel. I just wanted to have some fun creating art on Photoshop inspired by video game characters and put them into perspectives and personalities different from how we knew them. However, I've never expected to meet a group of friends who encouraged we encouraged each other to continue to express our creativity through our love of video games and our interests in software. Our small group later started a community channel where we all uploaded our own videos from playing our favorite games to me continuing creating artworks. As one of the channel's co-founders, my goal for us is to express ourselves and bring joy to others who also has the same interests as we do through doing what we love. Without each other's contributions and encouragement, our community channel won't be growing at a steady pace and bring joy to ourselves and the others."
Thanks!