Being abroad people become most concerned to all life problems

WRITING TASK I (INTEGRATION PROBLEMS FOR PEOPLE LIVING ABROAD)

The bar chart provides information of the difficulties people face when stay in abroad based on ages. Overall, the highest problems of the people includes economic plans, healthcare and education plans for child have been occurred on the young adults periods. Whereas the most problem such as education plans have been the least problem to people in 55 years old and above.

The other side, the problems of financial and healthcare necessity have been the higher priority than education plans for the young adults periods between 18 and 34 years old. However, according to development ages, the people becomes most concerned to all of the problem life includes the priorities of economical plans, healthier life concern and education planning for children. Based on the data, the healthcare concern has been upward trends in over people life time since young adults until elderly periods by 25 percent. At least, these problems could been increased for healthcare priority and had been decreased for finance concern and also education plans for child in the 55 years old or above.

(162 words)

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Hi Sari,
Welcome to EF Team! :)

I would like to share my insights towards your report summary of IELTS writing task 1. I hope you can follow through.

1st paragraph:
- The bar chart provides the information ofabout the difficulties people face when stay inliving abroad based on ages.certain age groups.
- Overall, it can be seen that the highest problemsproblemof thethat people encounter includes economic plans , healthcare and education plans for childrenhave beenis occurred on the young adults periods.age group.

- WhereasMeanwhile, the most crucial problem such as education plans have beenis the least problem to people inaged 55 years old and above.

By correcting your 1st paragraph, I think that it has already covered the whole feedback because your mistakes are quite similar. Try to proofread the rest of your essay and consider the above-mentioned feedback that I have given to you. I hope this would be helpful for your future practices :)