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IELTS Task 1 The Problems Which People Will Get When Live Abroad


Faridadwi18 67 / 104 13  
Aug 25, 2016   #1
The bar chart displays about the calculate proportion of the problems which people have to face when they live abroad. Overall, the group which has much more problems is the middle age group. This group has the highest percentage in all categories according to finance, healthcare, and finding schools for their children.

Looking at the details, people aged between 35 and 54 has the biggest percentage of all groups in sorting out healthcare, at 37 per cent. This group also has the highest number in sorting out finance, at 35 per cent. The form which has the most problem to find out school for their son or daughter is the middle age group.

In contrast, elderly people always has the least number of all problems besides for sorting out healthcare which has higher proportion than people aged 18-34 but less than people in the late age group. The former group has the least number to discover schools for their children about less than 5 percent.




bung ilham 14 / 30  
Aug 25, 2016   #2
aloha Farid Adwi, there are my suggestions for you:

The bar chart displays about the calculate proportion of ...
Overall, the group which hashaving much more problems is ...

... aged between 35 and 54 hashave the biggest percentage of all groups in sorting out healthcare, at( 37 per cent) .
The form which hashaving the most problem to find out ...

... besides for sorting out healthcare which hashaving higher proportion than people ...

overall, your description still needs the strength of vocabularies, and also your explanation should be more sharpened
azmi23 17 / 28 3  
Aug 25, 2016   #3
hi! i'd like to give you some corrections, hope you can follow through. happy writing!

Overall, the group which has much more problems is the middle age groupthe middle age group has much more problem than others who has the highest percentage in all categories, such as finance, healthcare, and finding schools for their children . This group has the highest percentage in all categories ...

... aged between 35 and 54 hasve the biggest percentage of ...

In contrast, elderly people always hasve the least number of (...) which has a higher proportion than people aged 18-34, but less than ...

here are some suggestions:
-don't forget to put comma
-try not to using "group" so many times


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