Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


What are the advantages and disadvantages of advertising sports-related products by sports players?



jasonng92 1 / -  
Jul 29, 2021   #1
IELTS WRITING TASK 2

Topic:

Many sports players advertise sports-related products.


What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your
own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words


Over recent decades, there has been a significant number of world-renowned individuals in the field of sports endorsing common items such as shoes, shirts, or goggles for leading brands. Some commentators are of the opinion that this practice is considerably beneficial whilst others concern it might have a negative impact. The following paragraphs will highlight the upsides and downsides of this matter.

This type of advertising might have tremendous benefits in a couple of ways. Firstly, from the perspective of business owners, using sport-stars to introduce their latest products is one of the marvelous strategies to attract potential customers who are willing to spend money on luxuries which their idols have been using. Without a doubt, this method might lead to an increasing number of prosperous companies which donate more to sports events, charities, or those living in poor conditions. Obviously, In addition, medical professionals believe that these well-known players are doing inspiring jobs for their fans because they can afford to examine whether products are harmful or not in advance. Indisputably, this helps the general public to avoid buying unqualified items that they used to experience.

Nevertheless, major negative effects of this development relating to moral factors, as well as financial concerns should not be ignored. Those working in the psychological field heed warnings that unsuccessful companies are trying to copy authentic products from the design to the brand

by less qualified materials to sell to their customers at cheaper prices. Those having morally wrong might feel pleased about their profitability but this extremely damages society. Furthermore, this causes detrimental consequences to the beliefs of innocent users who using those products when they realize their origin. They are reluctant to empathy any products with reasonable prices even though they are probably authentic. Finally, it is worth noticing that parents blame that their children have always been spending a huge amount of money on advertised products by celebrities just because they want to be similar to their idols' styles or even to show off with their peers in schools.

In conclusion, as stated in previous paragraphs, the reasons for this practice might be understandable, however, the government should take serious action on reducing banning any business producing fake products, and also support those celebrities who are advertising excellent products and making our lives better.

Please give a band on my essay. Thank you for your time.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Jul 30, 2021   #2
The wasoning paragraphs are over-presented butunder-developed The over presentation stems from the multiple topic presentations per paragraph. One would think that presenting 2 reasons per paragraph would create a long and well discussed, fantastic scoring essay. This is an incorrect belief because the writer begins to focus on word count rather than quality scoring considerations.

When the writer was speaking of product endorsements, he managed to explain himself quite well. Then, he suddenly brought up the topic of athlete's endorsing medical products as if they are doctors. The new discussion focus did not use an effective and relevant transition. Then the next paragraph went on to discuss unrelated disadvantages. The examiner looks for a connection between paragraphs when this format is used. To make things worse for the final scoll, the writer altered the discussion instructions by offering a personal opinion and solutions where is was not required. Leaving the essay without a proper conclusion.

For a more effective A / D presentation, use the following format:

Sentence 1: Topic sentence
Sentence 2: Advantage
Sentence 3: Transition
Sentence 4: Disadvantage
Sentence 5: Transition to next paragraph

Always remember, Every advantage may be seen as a disadvantage. That is the comparison basis / format for this essay discussion.
Cuongnguyen543 2 / 3  
Jul 31, 2021   #3
+Vocab Words in this Essay :
indisputably, significant, renowned, endorsing, commentators, considerably, strategies, examine, psychological, profitability, detrimental, reducing, decades, individuals, whilst, highlight, potential, prosperous, conditions, professionals

-Your knowledge of refined language is magnificent.


Home / Writing Feedback / What are the advantages and disadvantages of advertising sports-related products by sports players?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳