Arranged Marriage versus Love Marriage
An Arranged marriage is a marriage planned and agreed to by the families or guardians of the bride and groom, who have no say in the matter themselves. It is set up by parents of both the Bride to arrange the wedding for the newly couples.There are still some societies today, as well as religions, that follow the tradition of arranged marriages. In some communities, arranged marriages are the norm, and future husbands and wives are matched up from childhood. Some people view arranged marriages as backward and wholly unnecessary, especially in this age where women are treated, or at least fighting to be, equal with men. Meanwhile, young adults are still keeping the tradition of arranged marriage. A good chunk of our population are go for arranged marriages, while others do not like the idea of it. I strongly believe people in our society should have the option to freely choose love and have a love marriage with their mate.
First and foremost, majority of the people consider having arranged marriages. People think that arranged marriages allow them to adapt to their arranged partner. For instance in "My Parents Chose My Husband" the author states, "It doesn't matter. You adjust to each other. You sacrifice, you compromise, you accommodate. For the sake of preserving the marriage, you change". This message is conveying that newly wedded arranged couples should adjust to each other meaning understand each other, and what they both like or dislike. They should feel comfortable having good communication with each other because that builds a healthy relationship. Both the wife and husband should have a compromise meaning to agree and settle to a variety of situations. Moreover it also states, "Arranged marriages are often confused with those that are forced. Experts say it is a family's traditions and cultural leaning- not religious mandates- that result in forced marriages". This means that arranged marriages are a superlatively part of many cultures and traditions that still keep this tradition alive. Islamically, a majority of the islamic culture design their son and daughter to have someone arranged to marry them. In college reading and writing textbook on page 264 the publisher states, "They are very stable because it is duty of the whole family to help the new couple get established in life". He is referring that arranged marriages are stable because the couples incrementally establish things in life with the help of their family. People who are arranged to have a partner tend to build a better future. Hence, when it comes to arranged marriages, people can not be afraid of what their parents have to say about it, to either approve or disapprove it. In addition, on page 264 it states, "Divorce is almost unheard of except for the reason of infertility because of the potential disapproval a couple would receive from the parents and members of the community who were responsible for the selection". This means that the arranged married couples would not have to worry about divorce because the groom or bride would rely on their parents to find a perfect mate for them. Good arrange marriages happen when the parents support and help their children to find their life partners according to their desires and likings. Mutual consent and understanding are the only ways a marriage can sustain. Also, arranged marriages can be both beneficial to the groom and bride. In traditional societies, the spouses can live with the parents in the same housing compound. When it comes to hard times, the groom or bride can rely on their parents and in-laws for physical, financial, and emotional support. It is more important to consider the social and economic viability of the arranged marriage rather than put romantic love as a priority which will diminish anyway because romantic love is at best a superficial feeling.
On the other hand, while others do not like the idea of arranged marriages because the couples can have different habits of what they do. In "My Parents Chose my Husband", Debie Thomas has an terrible experience. "He disliked my seriousness. I found him shallow. He craved adventure. I craved stability. He resented routine. I thrived on it". Debbie and her partner were two different people. It made it difficult for them to communicate and get along with each other. This shows that people who are in arranged marriages can be the opposite and not like what each other has to say or do. Moreover, in the article it says, "The issues become even more complicated for children of immigrants who are bombarded with western society conflicting messages of love and romance before marriage". People sometimes do not fall in love easily when they are married arranged. It takes a long time for the partners to love each other , and care for each other. It takes effort to love and have affection for the person they are in love with. They also have to gain eachothers trust because Trust is an key to happiness. Another disadvantage of arranged marriage is having bad impacts on couples. Obviously, arranged marriage is usually arranged by parents. However, this is an individual's marriage and even an opinion about this marriage is not asked individually. Hence, a daughter or son marry to the one they even don't know or meet before. After marriage, they can understand that their husband or wife doesn't have the characteristic which they are looking for. Consequently, this can cause a lot of problems in the family such as domestic violence, having no happiness, and ruining couple's future as well. In addition to domestic violence and having no happiness, the rate of getting divorce is increased, for they don't have a good relationship with each other and very often they make troubles. Because of the everyday problems that they can't persist they have to live separately or get divorce. Furthermore, couple's future can also be ruined. For example, a husband or wife has fallen in love with someone else, so they do not want to live or share relationship and time with the one that get married. They sometimes ran away from home or commit suicide if their parents or family put too much pressure or force them to continue living with their partner. In addition,disadvantage of the arranged marriage is that family's reputation and honor can be suffered indirectly by couple. According to the above disadvantage, husband and wife can cause seriously to their family. For instance, at the time a daughter or son runs away from home either before or after marriage, both husband and wife families' reputation are ruined. Relatives and neighbors might look down on parents. Sometimes people may insult that parents can't educate children well. One more thing that is even more shameful is that the bride or groom runs away from home on the wedding day. This is a problem that all often hear and meet in our society. Arranged marriages can have a bad influence on our society. Although having no happiness or relationship and getting divorced are individual problems, these still affect indirectly to the society. When there is an increase of divorce rate, the number of widows will increased because men are much easier to find a new partner, whereas widows are very difficult to find another new partner to spend the rest of their life with. That's why the government is now concerning about the widows' living condition. Moreover, many widows have to be responsible for everything in order to survive. In the case of having children, widows have a heavier burden. Anyway, it not surprised that children have mental injury. They can be easily influenced by gangsters and start making bad friends at school. When they have a lot of bad friends, they may start using drug. Finally, they will become the real gangsters and start stealing money or property from home and committing crime. As the result, this can decrease the amount of human resource and the government has to spend more money on building habitation center for drug addicts and developing more human resources.
Many people in our generation believe in love marriage because this type of marriage is based on understanding each other and the settlement in the family. People should have the option to freely choose to their lifelong partner. Qualities such as love, affection, trust, and strong communication can be developed when partners start to love eachother. Love marriages come to be when both partners fall in love with each other and develop that over the course of time. This love will allow them to be satisfied with each other and have a strong relationship with the concedence of marriage. Couples who do love marriage will live in happiness and peace because they had chosen and loved each other from the beginning. Couples who married upon love will understand each other. They will share their opinions and decisions in every thing whether small or big . Each one will not take any decision in his own life without sharing the other fellow. Happiness also is a very important benefit of love marriage , as everyone in the family will feel with comfort . The couples can enjoy their life . They will be content about themselves.They will not make the usually quarrels which we see in most of the families. Each one of them will look for the comfort and happiness of the other fellow , as there is a mutual love between them . If one of them fell into a trouble , the other one will save him, and try to help with all what he possess of money , energy or time . If one of them felt ill, the other fellow gives him the complete care till he becomes well. Someone who experience love marriage, the two people tie the marital knot only after falling in love with each other and have a strong companionship.
Some day, some day men and women will rise, they will reach the mountain peak, they will meet big and strong and free, ready to receive, to partake, and to bask in the golden rays of love.I reassure that people are better of having love marriages with the strong qualities such as strong companionship, love and affection, faithfulness, and a full commitment conceding with the love marriage.
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