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IELTS Writing Task 2 essay-Advantages and disadvantages of global communication



AntherRR 1 / 4  
Jun 7, 2023   #1
Writing-IELTS TASK 2
Task:
Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate.


What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this?



My work:
Communication has played a critical role in the development of our civilization. As such, the development of this domain in recent decades is highly praised due to the enablement of real-time, worldwide interaction such development provided. However, they do not come without detriments, and the following essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of online communication.

First and foremost, it is undeniable that modern communication technologies have allowed many groundbreaking breakthroughs in recent years. This is because, as mentioned in the task, it has enabled transborder cooperation between various individuals on a global scale through virtual verbal communication. Communication in a community plays a vital role in the advancement of that community by permitting productive usage of every member's abilities, and the enlargement of the scale of transmission to an international level has, in turn, enlarged our community to a global society, authorizing effective utilization of every human beings' talents. Additionally, assistance is also facilitated thanks to communication. The extended reach of communication means we can reach out to each other to find collaboration in order to assist each other, by filling in each other's strengths and weaknesses, and talented, ambitious individuals can set out for aids and opportunities to improve themselves or open their gateways to success. For instance, many residents in my home country often utilize online interaction as a way to practice languages with native speakers and find people with similar interests or to find scholarships and sponsorships by attending interviews with people halfway around the globe.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, online communication also has its fair share of dilemmas. To clarify this point, a characteristic nature of online communication is anonymity. Anonymous communication is the prevalent form of interaction on the internet, which created a perfect habitat for a myriad of people with malicious intentions, also known as scammers. Due to the challenging task of identifying online, people often cannot distinguish the discretion of their subjects, risking the exploitation of their gullibility. Because of the same reason, social civility also experienced a downward trend online, as people wreak havoc and act vulgarly without worries of consequences.

Overall, online communication offers considerable merits to our civilization, while still bringing notable complications. Carefulness should be taken into account when using it.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Jun 8, 2023   #2
The essay is over written, not necessarily over-discussed. The length of the essay will not assure it of a passing score. It will however, ensure that you may not be able to complete the paper within the 40 minute writing allowance. You are risking leaving the paper unedited at this point. Creating an opening for mistakes that you could have easily corrected to remain in the essay, accidentally lowering your score across the rubic in the process.

In terms of establishing the discussion factors through responses to the guide questions, the essay fails to clearly establish the writer's opinion. One fo the scoring considerations that establishes the high passing or low passing score of the essay is the proper representation of the discussion topic and quick response to the guide questions, something the current presentation fell short of.

The over discussion resulted in some GRA issues that were left uncorrected, like I said before, because you focused on writing an extremely long paragraph when in reality, you only need 5 sentences to establish simple and convincing explanations for the given topic.


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