[IELTS] advantages vs disadvantages .requiring revision

Nowadays, cheap air travel is increasing popular in the word. Do the advantages overweigh its disadvantages?

In this day and age, the increasing number of people are so keen on traveling that it is fashionable to travel via inexpensive flight. As for me, the advantages of cheap air travel play a more predominant role than its disadvantages.

Obviously, it is the inexpensive airplane that is economical for average households that will never fail to profit from this, regardless of how much money being saved. And because of this more and more people, especially unwealthy individuals, can enjoy a long-term travel. For instance, one of my friend, who does not have enough money and never travel by plane, has a chance to travel via air.

Besides, cheap air travel can save people a great deal of time, so they could be able to concentrate more time and energy on their more important things. Ordinary families could choose cheap air rather than train or bus which takes longer time than plane. If they travel through train or bus, they will spend more time on the way.

Admittedly, with the popularity of cheap air travel, more consumption of fuel may lead to pollution of surroundings and degradation of air quality. Pollutants(e.g., sulfur dioxide and nitric oxide) will damage our living circumstance. However, any transport tools have fuel consumption. The authorities have taken measures on this problem.

To sum up, although there may be some fuel depletion, taking the clear benefits-- economical and efficient into consideration, I believe that the disadvantages of popular and cheap air travel cannot weigh against its advantages.

As for me --- I think this expression is a little informal and more common in speaking. You should use phrases like: I am of the opinion that, In my opinion,...

And because of --- don't start a sentence with AND.
a long-term travel --- what do you mean? Travel for a long time?
If they travel through train or bus ---If they travel BY train or bus
The authorities have taken measures on this problem. --- The authorities have taken measures TO ALLEVIATE this problem.

Some great vocab and sentence structures that you have! However, I think the second body paragraph was not fully developed.
Also, maybe you should write the disadvantage para at the beginning of the body, and make some connections with the advantages para like: 'Nevertheless, I believe that cheap air travel brings numerous benefits that can certainly outweigh its drawback.', and then write about the advantages. This can help make your point stronger. Just a suggestion though.

Best

Hello,

Very nice essay. You followed well the structure and the length.
My feedback is regarding vocabulary.

I would rather replace "In this day and age" with nowadays. Also I would refreeze the first sentence. Seems to be a little bit too complicated, and it is difficult to follow the idea of it. Taking into account that the first sentence should be the main idea of the essay it should be very clear.

For example you could say: Nowadays an increasing number of people choose to travel via inexpensive flights because it is fashionable, safer and cheaper.

Also what do you want to mean by " unwealthy individuals" ?

For the rest of the essay, I have the same suggestion, try to keep your sentences as short and as simple as you can.

Good luck!

THANKS for your revisions and suggestion!
Best regards