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tuanhntta2020 4 / 9 1  
Sep 19, 2020   #1
It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

There has been a considerable increase in the number of graduated students choosing to take a gap year. In my opinion, this matter has both pros and cons and my essay will throughly illustrate the points.

To begin with, taking a gap year can unexpectedly have positive impacts on students' skills and experience. Many teenagers do not truly understand their ownselves and have no clue of what they have interest in or what they want to do. Therefore, having some time off before attending higher education systems can encourage students to have a deeper insight into their dreams and hobbies so that they can be well-prepared for their futures. Secondly, this year off will be such precious time for teenagers to explore the world and gain more experience by themselves. For example, working as a part-time employee, learn a new skill or travel to a few new nations will broaden students' knowledge and create more new aspects of life. Indeed, going for a gap year is beneficial for students in many ways.

On the contrary, the period of a year off could counteract if it is not spent wisely. In other words, a huge number of students lost their motivation in working and studying after a few months from graduation. If they can not pull themselves together during this gap year, students will not gain any benefits from this time. More seriously, they can waste all those time in losing track of their original plans and goals.

In conclusion, taking a gap year has both advantages and disadvantages so that students should consider throughly whether they should opt for this decision or not.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,669 4754  
Sep 20, 2020   #2
It is important for you to present a balanced discussion for the advantage and disadvantage discussion paragraphs. You would do well to only present one for each. Even though you have a second suggestion for the advantage because this essay is a 4 paragraph essay only. When you write a second set of information in the same paragraph as the first, you tend to lose focus and better develop one discussion over the other. In this case, your second reason was better presented when compared to the first. So when you write your draft next time, consider which of the information you have listed you have more to say about in the sense that it will clearly show:

- A topic sentence
- A valid reason
- A supporting example
- An extended discussion presentation
- A transition sentence to the disadvantage / advantage discussion (optional)

In order to maintain the clarity and cohesiveness of your presentation, it will always be best to focus on one topic per sentence unless otherwise specified. Your discussion actually good but held back by the lack of C&C consideration your paragraph presentation. Some paragraphs are better developed than the others.

By the way, for the opening and closing paragraphs, please do not forget the basic rule, that is must be a reverse paraphrase. So you have to outline the topic, the advantage, the disadvantage, then close the essay with a sentence that will not provide a personal opinion or preference in the discussion. Both paragraphs need to show at least 3-5 sentence as per formatting requirements.

Additionally, if you are merely presenting the word "students'" to show the plural form of student, merely say, "students". The reason being that the apostrophe S is used to show ownership, not plurality.

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