Advertisement isn't the main reason which makes comsumers buy products unneccessarily

Topic: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, no one can deny the power of advertisement. For example, we can see a lot of advertisements on television and on the streets. And we can easily realize that advertising service is a very important part of business. Somebody think, the high sales of popular consumer good reflec the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. This argument maybe true.

In my opinion, we should extend our view in two aspects. Fisrt, the products on TV may look gorgeous and high quality with famous actors and effects. With that , we would be attracted and tempted by them, and we would buy the goods without hesitation or need it. In my country, consumers such as fan-girl, if they saw their idols stand for a product on television, they would buy the product for supporting the one they like even if the product is not the real need for them.

On the other hand, it's their choice to buy the goods. Individually, they have abilities and own habits to make decision on buy things for themselves. Advertisement can not change their spending habits. The decision of buying product depends on consumers and their puposes. Beside, no one can judge that comsumers purchase things unneccessary or not. Because if consumers have an adequate income to satisfy their demands, they have right to make decision on their own, and the goods they choose neccessary or not are ups to them, that's their business. In addition, consumers such as children, they don't have ability to think carefully about the needs of the pruduct they want.

In conclusion, advertisement isn't the main reason which makes people choose products unneccessarily. Since consumers have strong opinions of the quality of the product and sufficient income, it's their freedom to make decision in buy goods.

Please check it for me and give me advise. Thank you so much :)

Here's some of my suggestions, hope this helps

Nowadays, no one can deny the power of advertisement. For example, we can see a lot of advertisements on television and on the streets. AndWe can easily realize that advertising service is a very important part of business (may be you can change to 'we can see a lot of advertisements on television and on the streets and it is a very important part of doing business"). Somebody think, the high sales of popular consumer good reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. This argument maybe true.

In my opinion, we should extend our view in two aspects of television . Firstly , the products on TV may look gorgeous and high quality with famous actors and effects. We are used to watch the advert with good looking people and great effects in it, which give us the false impression of the true quality of the products - another way for above sentence . With thattherefore , we would be attracted and tempted by them, and we would buy the goods without hesitation or need it . In my country - Vietnam? , consumers such as fan-girl, if they sawsee their idols standadvertise for a product on television, they would buy that product for supportingto supportthe one they liketheir stars even ifthe product is not the real need for themthey do not have any needs for the products

Thanks for your help. My grammar is still very bad :(

(Try not to SAY something is true about the other side of the argument even if it is slightly true because that can invalidate your argument. Instead state the faults of believing that advertisement is the main reason consumers buy products unnecessarily. In doing so, you can state your reasons for your argument which you are missing in this initial paragraph.)

You essay is kind of all over the place. That last sentence was great. Use that sentence in the beginning to make it clear on what your stance is in this argument. Speak less about how advertisement would make a consumer buy the product and support your argument to the fullest. Its getting there just keep working on clearing up your argument.

Well.... you need to state your opinion very clearly in the introduction. However, it sounds vague the way you have expressed it by saying that the statement can be true. Again you start your body para with this line which is more or less sound like another opinion. I think you better pay a little attention to the desired essay structure. In the introduction, introduce your topic and then state what you think about the argument. Then in the body paras give reasons for your opinion and support them with specific examples.

I think it is persuasive. But you should write something about your own opinion!

in my opinion, i think both arguments are true. so i dont know how to explain it crearly.

This is my suggestion;
I too believe that advertisements play a major role in promoting people to purchase goods and services even when they really do not have a need. However, I also feel that advertisements are not always the only reason for this phenomenon. .... Now you can dedicate one paragraph (body para) to give a reason why you think advertisements get people to be tempted and buy things. Also another para to show that advertisements are not always the reason behind this trend. For both reasons, you need to back with specific examples.

In your essay, the second body para does not contain a specific example.