Please revise my essay. I really need feedback to improve my writing skill.
I am preparing for an exam, so help me
The question is that
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In my opinion, I agree that advertising can tell you a lot about a country. It promotes education, business and tourism to international communities. Using advertising can cause employment and income necessary for leading a normal and stable life.
To begin with, it can inform international students of appropriate places to study. In the globalization, many people who are rich tend to continue Bachelor or Master degree abroad. With concise advertising plans, foreign students begin to know your country and think about studying here. When admitted into your local university, a lot of money is circulating within a country and increases jobs of service apartments for such international students. People are likely to work as a receptionist or even security guards at an apartment and have money to supplement your family expenses
Furthermore, it can attract many investors to do business in your country. In general, many countries have their own potentials such as land and workforce to serve international companies. With good advertising scheme, foreigner companies get information to consider whether your countries are the best choice. If foreigner investors are interested to do business in your country, it may be a good chance to increase a job opportunity for local people to earn for a living.
More important, it can draw a lot of tourists to visit your country. Generally-speaking, many countries have many tourist attractions which are unique enough for foreign tourists to relax. With succinct advertising methods, foreigners know about your countries and make a final decision to stay overnight or more. When a number of tourists arrive at your country, a lot of service jobs such as receptionist, tour guide and tour operator act as a good source of money for local people. If they work for one of these jobs, they will have money to feed their family day by day.
In conclusion, advertising has many valuable advantages if it is effectively used. It creates more demand for more residents or apartments and people who working for service apartments, improves standard of living for local people who are employed in a foreign company, and make local people decide to take a course concerning tourism so that they will do these jobs to earn a money for their family.