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IELTS Writing Task 2: Agree/Disagree Community Service as a part of study



Ulfaidrus_flip 5 / 5  
Feb 16, 2018   #1

unpaid community service as a compulsory program



Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Masses consider that non-profit society activities should be implemented at the senior high school level. In my opinion, it is a good idea since it can educate them about social life and give them occasions to apply their knowledge.

Voluntary activities can be mandatory in the high school programs because involving teenagers in charity programs will enable them to socialize and build a strong relationship among inhabitants. It is a must since promoting society is one of the main duties of an educated person. To illustrate, by donating fund and food for orphans and homeless people, it will educate them about how to behave good manner toward others. Eventually, they will have empathy and self-conscious to always care people in their surroundings. Therefore, by integrating this activity into the curriculum, students' interpersonal skills can be developed.

Moreover, adopting voluntarism will assist students to learn in depth through practice. It is generally known that studying pure subjects, such as mathematics, civic education, languages, and so on will be meaningless without spreading or real applications. Therefore, students can be employed to do several simple projects with teachers' control. For instance, they can teach street children in their neighborhood about mathematics. Besides, they can try their language comprehension by guiding international tourists in a vacation site. Accordingly, this program can enhance students' skills and be advantageous for other people at the same time.

To sum up, by guiding students to unpaid community service as a compulsory program, many merits can be gained by students. Therefore, the authority in the education sector can consider this to enhance students' ability.

From mod = one more useless advice = ban

DoctorWho - / 44  
Feb 19, 2018   #2
Hey!!

You have a well written essay. I have a few suggestions to improve on your material.
It's always better to write your essay in three paragraphs.

Your first para is the "Introduction" - Here you just introduce the topic. It can be just a brief introduction ( Basically reemphasizing the question statement ). This will help you to add more material to your next paragraph which is the main content/body of the essay.

Whenever I write an essay, I start on an unbiased and impartial note and then talk about the side I support. For example - Masses consider that non-profit society activities should be implemented at the senior high school level. While most people consider this an important component in a well rounded education of a good human being, others consider this as a useless front and even call it child abuse. Personally I believe it is a very good idea.

Second Para - Emphasize and write in detail what people on both sides of the argument might be thinking.

Third Para - This is your conclusion statement, where you write at the end of your analysis, why you chose to support your viewpoint based on the merits.

This will present your ideas in a more systematic way. Also, just read through your essay and correct grammatical errors.

Good Luck! :)


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