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TASK 2: Agree or disagree - female leaders make society more peaceful

Linh Dieu 8 / 16 1  
Aug 25, 2018   #1
Throughout history, male leaders always lead us to violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders, it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and give any relevant example or experience you have to support your answer.

too few women in charge on public positions

It will lead to less struggled if countries could be run by womanly presidents as opposed to being led by male ones. I quite agree with this opinion as the world would be in balance in a lot of aspects.

Firstly, women do not prefer to live in war because of their harmonic instincts. The internal maternal instinct of female hardly constitutes by competed preference or dictatorial psychology. Moreover, their leading styles will be influenced by what they think, so one female leader's policy can be less strict than that of a man, which minimizes the risk of war, conflicted religions, and so on. As a result, they will reduce serious consequences for countries like deficient budget, mortality and tumbled economy. Elizabeth I is one typical example of the wise orientation as her prevention decree to Christianity and rejection to be at war with Scotland to reduce wasteful loss for England.

Secondly, women who do not vie for personal benefits will spend time and budget improving citizens' living standard and tackling eternal problems. Furthermore, they willing to shoulder responsibility with conscious attitude and well-prepared strategies to man's little-concerned problems with women and children such as sexual discrimination, familial violence, etc. This method will make women's policies receive much public approval and connect citizens' expectation to their leaders.

In conclusion, the women's rule will be more beneficial and democratic than that of men, which followed concord tendency and needed taking into account for many countries.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,876 3553  
Aug 26, 2018   #2
Linh, your opening paraphrase is too short because you forgot to include an explanation of what the original prompt is all about. A more appropriate opening paraphrase for this topic is as follows:

History has shown us that the male leaders of countries tend to lean towards the side of war when resolving conflicts. Women are seen as the more peaceful alternative when it comes to leadership. I agree with this point of view based upon two highly specific reasons.

The first reason I agree with this statement is ...

The second reasons is...

That is why I conclude that ...

By the way, I could not make much sense out of what you were trying to say in the second paragraph. I had a particularly hard time trying to figure out, to no avail, what you meant by:

The internal maternal instinct of female hardly constitutes by competed preference or dictatorial psychology.

Where you trying to say that "women have a maternal instinct that prevents them from taking a hardline stance as men are opt to do" ? That means that men have a different tendency to make decisions when compared to women. I think your original sentence made more sense in your native tongue than it did in English.

You may want to use more modern examples for your essay. Elizabeth I is a historical figure who is not known to many outside of Britain. BTW, she also had bloody long wars that she personally led due to power struggles in her country that led to an increased tax collection for her people in order to finance the wars. Try to pick more recent role models so that your essay will have a more up to date and current events led discussion to it.
OP Linh Dieu 8 / 16 1  
Aug 26, 2018   #3
Thanks for your worthy advice. I will try to discard these errors

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