Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Agree or disagree that progress is always good? Yes it is always good!



Umeda 1 / 1  
May 28, 2010   #1
Hello there. I just write this essay could you please chsck it? I have my TOEFL IBT in a week and know that my writing skills leave much to be desired. Thanks a lot.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The progress usually means that world can become incredibly better in the terms of social life, science, history, technology, modernization and other. For me personally progress has played a significant role in my life. I would like to stress on the technological progress. It would seem unbelievable to me when 20 years ago someone told me that in 20 years there will be no need to have a landline phone in your house if you need to talk with someone on the phone, there will be little need in post services and even more there will be no need to have a TV! It really is incredible how developed we are now. Just think that you can be reached wherever you are just by having your cellular phone with you and indeed there is no need in landline. Thanks to internet we can send anything by electronic mail, letters, documents, photos and moreover you can have a video call with the person who is on the other side of the world and all of this might be absolutely confidential. As for the TV it is interesting but you need to have your laptop and internet connection in order to be in the loop of all your favorite shows. I recently discovered that apparently it is possible even to watch movies online! Isn't this incredible? You don't have to go anywhere just stay indoors and google the movie that you want to watch online and for free. From the other side I hear all the time from grown ups or other people who are so called "nature defenders" that the concept of the technology progress is hidden somewhere deep in the forest and has its own goals which are to destroy entire mankind. For instance recently I bumped into such saying "People becoming so helpless without an internet, how would they live when the whole empire of internet will fall down?" Surely it would make our entire life very difficult but at the end of the day we are not giving up: ordinary mail services, landlines cinemas and TV right? We are still using them. So in order to conclude with I would say that I don't think we ever will give up ordinary post services, cinemas and TVs and landline phones since all this has its own advantages. Otherwise we would give up all these long time ago and became cyborgs with installed microchips that were responsible for all our human beings functions.

babyevy 3 / 26  
May 28, 2010   #2
your essay should be divided in three paragraphs at least( introduction, body and conclusion) and you wrote everything together, and try to use some transition signals so it can be easy to follow. :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
May 29, 2010   #3
my writing skills leave much to be desired.

You are doing well!! Don't worry. The important thing is to keep on reading about the subject that you want to master... nutrition? Meditation? Literature? Keep practicing by reading and writing; don't worry about the errors.

Capitalize Internet.
Progress is a process:

The word "progress" usually refers the world's process of becoming incredibly better in the terms of social life, science, history, technology, modernization and so forth.

For me personally progress has played ...

As you practice reading andwriting and speaking, you will get good at knowing when to use the word "the":
Thanks to the Internet we can ...

I recently discovered that apparently it is possible even to watch movies online! --- excellent sentence!!

Get rid of extra words:
So in order to conclude, with I would say that I don't think we ever ...

I will assign you homework: Read my favorite book. It is called On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. You have a lot of potential as a writer!
OP Umeda 1 / 1  
Jun 1, 2010   #4
Thanks a lot Kevin and for homework as well. Your feedback was very encouraging. Will keep writing ...


Home / Writing Feedback / Agree or disagree that progress is always good? Yes it is always good!
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳