Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Allocation of public funds between road and railway projects



Veranda 5 / 13  
Jul 24, 2019   #1

transport infrastructure



Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you (dis)agree?

There are people who voice that governments should invest more money in railways instead of roads. In my opinion, I totally agree with this idea as railway traffic has the edge over travelling by roads.

First of all, using rail roads could prevent traffic jams. Because trains can only go on the railway, all the trips have to be tightly scheduled to prevent trains from smashing into each other or rendering themselves stuck at any place. Unlike trains, cars and motorbikes can travel on the roads without much precise selection which often leads to traffic jams in rush hours. By travelling by trains, people can save time by preventing congestion. As a result, passengers can arrive at their destinations sooner than going by cars or motorbikes, especially in the case of long - distanced travel.

Another advantage of using railroad is the quantity and quality of goods carried by trains. With cars or even trucks, it still poses a difficulty to carry a large number of goods without damaging them to some extent. However, trains can do a great job at transferring products. As trains have plenty of wide carriages, they are able to carry a massive number of commodities as well as keep them intact during the journey. Therefore, there is no doubt that transferring goods using railway transportation is much more effective than using roads.

In conclusion, travelling by train has offered people various benefits. On that account, governments should definitely spend money on the upgrade and extension of railways rather than that of roads

rivathh 5 / 10  
Jul 25, 2019   #2
@Veranda

Hello there.

Here are my suggestions:

1. "railway traffic has the edge over travelling by roads." (in 1st paragraph) :
I think it should follow parallel structure in this sentence. Perhaps you can change it to "railway transportation" and "road traffic"?

2. "cars and motorbikes can travel on the roadswithout much precise selection" (2nd paragraph) :
the words are ambiguous to understand

3. "By travelling by trains, people can save time by preventing congestion."(2nd paragraph) :
... save time due to the prevention of congestion.

Best wishes
Maria - / 1096  
Jul 25, 2019   #3
@Veranda
Hello there. I see that you're new here. Welcome to the forum! Let me provide you with writing feedback on your essay.

First and foremost, try to create a more no-fuss tone when you're writing. Remember that exaggerating and adding too many details (see your first paragraph) do not necessarily help you because you'll be unable to detail out other portions of the text. Try to keep your writing as balanced as possible.

Remember to also create more dyanism in your writing all throughout. Always write with intention. It would so be helpful to mix up various thoughts and opinions, curating a more enhanced approach to writing.

Best of luck as always.
OP Veranda 5 / 13  
Jul 27, 2019   #4
@rivathh
Thank you a lot!
@Maria
Can you explain more about "create more dyanism in your writing"? Thank you so much!


Home / Writing Feedback / Allocation of public funds between road and railway projects
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳