Allowing youngsters to have their own decisions in daily life matters - ielts academic

Allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters

Please help me with my essay from writing task 2
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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Answer:
There is an argument that youngsters should have their own decisions in daily life matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment), which make them selfish, while others think that is essential for one's growth. In my point of view, children should have their own decisions with guidance from the elder people.

On one hand, making their own choices will encourage them to be more responsible. This makes them understand the consequence of their own decisions, which makes children dignify their wishes more important than others. That may make them think they are the best. For example, when they are working in a group, children often think their view is the best solution for any situation without consideration. But that could be changed, especially when they have trouble and get some advice from the others for a routine.

On the other side, decisions play a crucial role in children's lives, which help adolescents stand up from their failures and give them the knowledge to deal with their issues in some situations. There is a small percentage of youngsters who won't have any trouble in their life. For example, a child who has a better condition than others can have a better position or even finance in daily life. But other adolescents who don't have that chance push them to deal with their problems through their own experiences which they have learned from their failures many times. Take finance as an example, this makes youngsters have to consider or plan to use their own money logically.

In conclusion, although there are some disadvantages, I believe that the advantages bring better benefits than its drawback. This may help adolescents adapt to any problems in the future.

Word count: 283

There can be no aspect of the paraphrasing that is used in a cut and paste manner. The writer must state everything in his own words or risk score reduction based on a partial cut and paste reference. Word alternatives play an important role in the TA and LR scoring considerations. By not changing the parenthetical reference, the writer incurred point deductions in the paragraph presentation. The stated personal opinion is good and strong. but lacks the 2 supporting reasons sentence /s. These are the reasons why awarding of full points will not be possible in this section.

The discussion paragraphs only represent the writer's opinion for both topics. This is an improper approach as it does not properly use the comparative analytical discussion format. The writer must first state the basis for the acceptability of the public opinion via group pronouns,before comparing these to his personal dialagreement with the said point of view. This essay will receive nminimal scoring due to the underdeveloped discussion.

The public perception was not properly represented so scoring will only be applied to the personal opinion, leading to a 1 out of 3 scoring consideration. Discussing the reasons behind the public opinion creates the basis of the personal opinion. Correct pronoun usage is needed.