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Analysis of a questionnaire on kids activities - IELTS writing task 1 sample: Pie Graph


chichiua 1 / 2  
Mar 14, 2014   #1
Hi everyone! Please give me some advice and feedback about this essay. I made this to practice for the IELTS exam. This is a sample of writing task 1.

Task Description: The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs. Write at least 150 words.
(The graphs are found at the end of my essay)

Here's my answer:
The two pie charts provided illustrates an analysis of a questionnaire. They show the activities that girls and boys participate in, in percentage times. Overall, it can be seen that equal quantities of both sexes enjoyed listening to music, but a dramatically larger number of girls liked reading, and there were many differences in terms of their preferred sports

A similar proportion of boys and girls enjoy gymnastics and skateboarding respectively (11%). In addition, 15% of girls enjoy Netball while approximately the same percentage of boys enjoy soccer (17%).

In terms of reading, roughly ten times more girls said that they enjoy reading rather than boy (21% and 2%). Approximately twice more boys enjoy computer games than girls (34% and 16%). Roughly a quarter of boys prefer basketball (26%) and listening to music is the smallest but the same proportion (1




MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Mar 14, 2014   #2
The two pie charts provided illustrates an analysis of a questionnaire . They show the activities that girls and boys participate in, in percentage times.

The two pie charts compare the participation of Australian children of both gender in percentage terms.

Overall, it can be seen that equal quantities of both sexes enjoyed listening to music, but a dramatically larger number of girls liked reading, and there were many differences in terms of their preferred sports

This could form a separate overview paragraph.
Overall, the majority of activities girls are involved in are different from those of boys, with the exception of reading and listening to music. Likewise, while dancing is the most popular activity among girls, computer games account for the highest proportion of boys' participation.

Your essay has only 140 words, less than the required total number of words. Also, you should reorganize your ideas by stating the most significant features of the charts first and going into details afterwards.
OP chichiua 1 / 2  
Mar 17, 2014   #3
I think that I did it, but I have a little confusing to give the detail
Firstly, I compare something that has the same proportion or approximately equal in two pie charts. After that, I compare something that has the same field together.

Can you write down a sample for giving the detail to me ?
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Mar 17, 2014   #4
Firstly, I compare something that has the same proportion or approximately equal in two pie charts. After that, I compare something that has the same field together.

I think you should start your detailed paragraphs with the highest or lowest figures as they are the most remarkable features and may catch our attention first. Then you could continue with other smaller features.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 17, 2014   #5
Well you have it to some extent, but you have an issue with presenting each different section. For example, your introduction and overview are both together;

The two pie charts provided illustrates an analysis of a questionnaire. They show the activities that girls and boys participate in, in percentage times. Overall, it can be seen that equal quantities of both sexes enjoyed listening to music,

You need to separate Introduction, Overview and Body paragraphs (where you discuss trends in detail).... The detailed paragraphs can be constructed as you like but they need to follow some kind of obvious logic. In this case, I suggest you to have one para to discuss trends in boys activities and the other to girls and the third one to compare. I hope Pahan or Eddies would do some samples for you.... If not I'll try to help you when I get some more free time :D
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 28, 2014   #6
Thanks Eddies - you relieve my burden and such a pleasant thing to have you around. :)
That's a very good sample and I am going to quote it in other threads for our users to have a look at it :) Hope you won't find it as plagiarism .... LOL

@chichichua - Hope eddies help came on time. Did you finish taking up the task already?
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,204 469  
Mar 28, 2014   #7
Hope you won't find it as plagiarism

hahahahaha, this is visual writing.
OP chichiua 1 / 2  
Mar 28, 2014   #8
chichichua - Hope eddies help came on time. Did you finish taking up the task already?

Actually, I finished it, but this is really a good sample for me. Thank you so much eddies and dumi ^^


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