IELTS TASK 2: Animals should not be exploited by people

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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As we know, some animals have high energy than human. Some people are exploiting this animal, but other people said that animals should not be exploited by people because they think animals should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. In this statement, I will give reason for supporting my opinion.

Firstly, animals such cow is often used by humans for working such plow up. While, cow sometimes is stopping because I think it feels tired, however, it is hit by humans. That is caused that humans want to cow finishing plow up. This is for satisfaction them. Secondly, animals often are used for researching, especially vet. Vet is often doing research about animals. Habitually, they operate on animals for getting organ what they want for looking, and they will write in the book. It is used for their thesis or project.

In my opinion, I think that animals should have the same rights as humans because animals are also living thing which we should keep. It is caused that our religion teach us for keeping living thing and animals have right for life. We should not be subjected without reasons.

As a result, we should keep animal for comfortable life and animals also creature creation our God that should be keep.

This is not necessary to say as the reader expects you to do this anyway.

this sentence is too long, you should separate them as 2 sentences

Introduction is the crucial part to attrack reader attention. Perhaps you can rewrite this sentence and follow pahan's suggestion to make your introduction impressive. Eva, read more study sample to get many vocabularies and patterns.

This is not a good hook.... Your hook should ,in the first place, be meaningful. What do you mean by high energy? I don't see much meaningful idea here. Second, it should be relevant to your topic and provide a good entrance for you to introduce your topic. That also does not happen here :(

Your topic runs on rights of animals to live on this planet. It talks about whether we can justify exploitation of their lives for our own requirements.

In my opinion, I think that animals should have the same rights as human beings because animals are also living creature in the world. It is taught by our religion that we should keep all living things.

As a result, we should keep animal enjoy a comfortable life and animals are also creatures created by our God.