WRITING TASK 2 - TOPIC: EDUCATION
TOPIC: Some people say that children should go to school as young as possible, while others believe that children should go to school of at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is argued that schooling from early age will be ideal for the children to develop themself, while some think that the primary education can be able to teach for the pupils who are at least 7 years old. While children can benefit from going to school as young as possible, I completely believe they should be over 7 years old to enroll to school.
On the one hand, the younger the children, the better the education. Young kids can become accustomed to studying environment easily. As a young age, children is likely a paper that can absorb the new information and learn everything in a very fast and effective way, which exactly likes how they learn to craw or walk. Furthermore, since attending school earlier than the normal age, the pupils can finish their course sooner than average; meanwhile, they still enhance enough knowledge for their coming career in adult's life. At this point, having more time to explore the world or do whatever they want would be a positive side for early education.
On the other hand, education is much more suitable for children who is at least 7 years old. The students at this age can be mature enough to learn advanced lessons from the school's curriculum. Some subjects require children higher conscious level to understand the theory from the teacher and also be aware of what they learn. In addition, 7-year-old pupils tend to have proper behaviors towards education such as self-discipled or independent. Without any kinds of punishment or reminder, these children can do self-study at home or at school to use their best period to learn as much as possible.
In conclusion, early age seems to be a logical time for children to learn something, but without some benefits mentioned, they should be old enough to be schooling with a range of academic subjects.
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While the prompt restatement and opinion is not grammatically accurate, it is still understandable enough for an ENL. Your thought process is clear even if the word choice is not. Your opinion is understandable even though it could use further clarity. This paragraph will not get a failing score, but it will not get a high score either due to the word choice and sentence structure situation.
Please make sure to use the 3 reasoning paragraph next time. Ensure that you use the third person pronouns in the first two paragraphs that discuss the prompt provided public opinions. Then use the first person reference in the third to indicate your personal interest. The first 2 paragraphs need to explain the basis of the public opinion, what makes it right and (in transition) what makes it wrong. For your personal statement, explain why you support a particular public opinion. Base this on your personal knowledge and experience.
As of now, the current 2 paragraph essay provides a general discussion presentation. It does not differentiate between the public and personal opinion. The default understanding will be that you presented only your personal opinion of both public statements, which is not how the essay should be formatted.