An argument about whether the country should be the host for a worldwide sports event or not

IELTS 2

Hosting an international sports events

Question: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words.
My answer:
There is an argument about whether the country should be the host for a worldwide sports event or not. While this action could bring some disavantages, I believe that such event could have a great positive impact on the country.

Being a host for an international sports event might pose a threat to the social life of the country since there is a great likelihood that hooligans and anti-social people would incidentally come to the country to watch the show. These kind of people may cause some riots within the host city and therefore, it can not only harm the citizens but also worsen the global image of the country. On top of that, unthoughful spectators are likely to litter the stadium and make that place become a garbage dump. Subsequently, the country will have to pay a massive amount of money to clean the grandstand.

Regardless of the practical concerns expressed above, I would argue that hosting the worldwide sports event is worthwhile. Firstly, numerous tourists are attracted to come to visit the host country and this phenomenom can possibly promote the diverse culture and rich culinary background of the country. The visitors often combine traveling into the trip and give themselves a chance to enjoy the host country, which might not even cross their mind before. Secondly, such events are a profitable investment for the country since the aggregate expenditure of visitors and their payment for the tickets, most of the time, is considerably higher than the hosting money. For instance, the annual incomes of Chinese entrepreneurs increased by 4% when Chine stage the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing.

In conclusion, I believe that apart from several possible drawbacks, the merits of hosting a global sports event could offset the disadvantages.

- There is no reference to an argument in the presentation. There is however, a reference to an exchange of ideas or discussion. Do not make exaggerate claims not supported by the original presentation.


- Improper thesis presentation. This presentation does not align itself with the original comparative discussion + personal opinion prompt
- TA failure due to incorrect response formatting and a response not related to the task

The overall essay only presents your personal discussion, which means that you have changed this from comparative to a totally different essay discussion. The format you decided to respond in, is based on the A/D format rather than the comparative essay format. So the response is incorrect in totality. You were being asked to compare the 2 opinions, which you did not do in a public point of view reference, hence the error in response presentation. You have only a personal opinion presented throughout. This is a 5 paragraph essay, you only wrote 4. There is no clear:

- Paragraph in support based on public knowledge
- Paragraph in opposition based on public knowledge

The personal opinion is not fully developed as there are 2 supporting ideas in the same paragraph. You need only 1 personal opinion topic in this presentation to establish a clear opinion based on personal knowledge.

@Holt
Thank you so much. Can I ask you what is the right pattern for comparative discussion? I'm quite confused now. I don't know what the diferences between comparative discussion and Advantages/Disadvantages. Thank you so much again.