Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government



Hanna186 3 / 6  
Dec 4, 2020   #1
Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work

To what extent do you agree?



It often said that the income of almost artists is relatively low. Thus, they should be given funding from government to maintain their work. From my perspective I completely agree with this point of view for the following reasons.

Nowadays many gifted artists are facing financial strain and wondering whether they should follow their enthusiasm in art or doing something else to make out money. Funding for artists is a best solution for them to clear their way and work on art continuously. Doing this means artists no longer have to work on two more extra jobs to cover their personal expense. Working regardless of money must give them a fresh mind that could produce fascinating and creative concepts that could be priceless.

Another good point to support artists is that it will benefit society in long run. Talented artists would create a work of historical or cultural art which are used as an educational resource that help people to approach them effectively. Moreover, utilizing art is the most effective way to maintain history and culture of a country which every country is trying to reserve. In addition, art galleries are the epitome of artists' production that attract enormous tourists around the world every year generating a considerable revenue in return. Obviously, it boosts national tourism industry.

In conclusion, even though funding for artist takes a part government's budget away but it definitely is worthy. It not only gives artists a huge support to build their career but benefit the country itself.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15466  
Dec 4, 2020   #2
I have to say, your reasoning paragraphs are well connected and clear to the reader. You have managed to properly portray your written response to the discussion instruction. While there are some English word and phrase usage that are incorrect or out of place in this presentation, these errors have not made the essay confusing to read. The reader will still be able to easily understand or figure out what it is you are trying to convey in the sentence / paragraph. No worries there.

My main worry though, is in your lexical resource consideration. You have a tendency to mix up word usage such as these two:

Most - in the greatest quantity, amount, measure, degree, or number:
Almost - very nearly

As you can see, both words have the word "most" in it, but convey different meanings. Therefore, you are not using the word in the proper manner, which can lower your LR score as this is based on your vocabulary skills or understanding of the meaning of English words. Other word errors include:

- make out money - make money
- clear their way - pay their way

The final error in this presentation is the way that you structured the concluding presentation. The first sentence is confusing to read:

... budget away but ( replace with a comma to show a continuing and connected thought sentence) , it definitely is worthy...


Home / Writing Feedback / Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳