You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.
When I was child, people who were close to me had experiences with risks that everyone has starting a new business. These experiences were not very successful, and it is why these experiences that I prefer to buy a house where I can live quite comfortably and secure in my own place, rather than start my own business.
From the time that my grandfather was young, he owned a small business and he always had to invest his money in his store. My grandfather could not buy his own house until he retired when he was seventy years old. The saddest part of the story is that he passed away right after he got his house, and as a lesson in life then, my grandmother told me that I should get my house before starting my own business, because in that way I would have more security for my family and a back up for my personal finances just in case that the business should go bankrupt.
I also remember the case of my high school friend Harold, who had to move to his parents' original town because their family business went bankrupt. They did not own the house where they were living, so they had to move and went to live to their relatives' house, to recover from the bankruptcy. I was just six years old, and although I did not understand the reasons of because my friend was leaving, I felt very upset and I have kept this memory in my mind. Now, as an adult, I have thought about that sad experiences of my childhood friend, and I consider it as another reason why I want to get my own house before starting my business.
As you can see, I would love to buy a house first and then to pursue a business; thus, if it fails I will still have my house to live in and to provide security to my family.
326 words. Feedback will be appreciate it. Thanks.
As far as I am concerned, you should develop your ideas and supporting detail, and you need a intro. GRammer is fine, you can check it by using MS word.
I see that you are very good at writing in English! I'll help with a phrase in this sentence:
These experiences were not very successful, and it is why because of these experiences that I prefer to ... --- you say, "and it is for this reason that I XXXXXXXX."
Because of these experiences, I prefer XXXXXXX.
And also, we should make comfortable into comfortably and secure into securely:
...buy a house where I can live quite comfortably and securely in my own place, rather than start my own business.
This sentence below is going to be a GREAT one if we correct one small mistake:
I was just six years old, and although I did not understand the reasons of because my friend was leaving, I felt very upset and I have kept this memory in my mind.--- what a great sentence this is! We just needed to cross out those extra words.
