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Astronaut nearly drowns in space



bbcheesecake14 10 / 13  
Aug 16, 2016   #1
Being an astronaut is very threatening itself. They spend a long time of their lives away from Earth without any assurance. Astronauts problem is drowning during a spacewalk, is where an astronaut leaves and do their job. They should wear space suit for protecting them self by extreme temperatures, provide oxygen, and pressurize the astronaut's body. The helmet is also very important, due to it helps the astronaut to see clearly in space.

When Luca Parmitano was working in the middle of a spacewalk, he notices water inside his helmet. He did not get worried, and assumed it was a small leak. A few moment latter water filled his helmet, its covering his eyes, filled his ears, then entering his nose, which make it difficult to breathe. Parmitano was afraid of drowning so he stopped working. At the time he moved toward the entrance to the International Space Station, he rapidly removed his helmet, so he can breathe again. His helmet consisted 1.5 liters of water, which almost drowned him.

Parmitano saved himself because, he remained calm and acted quickly during the space walk.

themasteressay 1 / 1  
Aug 16, 2016   #2
Some of your sentences do not flow cohesively e.g.Astronauts problem is drowning during a spacewalk, is where an astronaut leaves and do their job.The word astronaut is used too many times. Add variety to your sentence.
Rinnegan45 - / 35  
Aug 16, 2016   #3
Hi there!

I'll give you another tips for your essay.

- Being an astronaut is very threatening itself . They spend a long ...

- Astronauts' problem is drowning during a spacewalk, IT is where an astronaut ...

- They should wear space suit forTO protectingthem self THEMSELVES by from extreme temperatures, provide oxygen lacks oxygen, and pressure loss the astronaut's body . The helmet is also very important, due to it helps the astronaut ...

- he notices D water inside his helmet. (...) assumed it was JUST a small leakage.

-A few moment latt er, water filled his helmet, it' s covering his eyes, filled ing his ears, then entering his nose, which make de it him difficult to breathe.

thanks


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