Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds.



bella05 1 / -  
Apr 1, 2020   #1

protecting wild animals and birds



Perhaps no subject in the contemporary society is as controversial as the matter of existence of wild animals and birds. It is commonly believed that human are paying too much attention and allocating too many resources to this issue. As fas as I concern, I side with this statement.

To begin with, it is obviously that animals play a vital role in biology so that thera are a wide range of approaches to attract publicy. First of all, many non-rnvironmental organizations are established to preserve natural habitats and promote sustainable development, such as WWf. More to the point, with the rapid growth of technology, news about wild animals and birds are quickly shared on the Internet. In simple terms, the reports which is relevant to the environment's damage or a species with extinction are updated daily. In conclusion, preserving wild animals and birds is of concern to people because the lack of any species is at the expense to the loss of the balance which harms human's life.

In addition,government invest too much money costly on facilities and safety for animals that in danger. National budget should be allocated to more urgent issues rather than expended on the conservation of animals, which is from nature, and birds. For example, national resources, such as budger, land, etc. should be invested to medical research to find out remedies. Consequently, existence of wild animals and birds is vital though, people should channel resources to society's compelling matter, instead of animals' issues too many.

In conclusion, protecting wild animals and birds is attracting people's attention and resources exaggeratedly. It is wiser to reduce them to pay attention to the other urgent issues.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Apr 1, 2020   #2
There are actually 2 different prompts that could apply to this essay topic. Which is why I am not sure as to how to review your work. It always helps me to create a more targeted review when the student includes the original prompt with the response essay. At least I know what the actual instructions are. I cannot hazard a guess about which of the 2 discussion types to use for your work as it may result in my giving you inappropriate or non-applicable advice. Therefore, I am forced to only give you only general comments in relation to the GRA section of your writing.

When writing an academic essay, it is better to avoid using words that indicate a lack of conciseness in your presentation. As an opinion paper, your statements must have a sound of strong support when you write it. So avoid using terms such as "Perhaps no..." Instead, simply say "No subject in...". Remember that when you use a singular description such as "human", the subject - verb agreement should be in the singular so use "is" instead of "are". Be careful with your spelling, you have several spelling errors that you did not correct in the essay:

fas = far
thera= there
publicy = the public ( you are also missing a connecting word)
WWf = WWF (Acronym error)
budger = budget

along with several other spelling errors. There are simply too many spelling and sentence formation errors in your essay for me to point out here. These LR and GRA errors alone will be enough to pull down your final score to below the 5 consideration. Please, learn to be careful with your writing. Review, edit, revise, repeat, until you are confident you have a smooth essay presentation already. Do this within 40 minutes.
Nguyenkhanhnhu - / 1  
Apr 1, 2020   #3
Apart from some wrong spelling, your essay is totally done very well.You generate your sentences by using flexible linking words and phrase.Your viewpoint is stated clearly, explanation and examples are relevant to each viewpoint.I'm really impressed by your writing.


Home / Writing Feedback / Too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳