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[WRITING TASK 1] The average on cell phone, national fixed line amd international fixed line service


elliemiller 1 / 1  
Oct 13, 2020   #1

Annual expenditures on cell phones



The line graphs illustrates the average amount yearly on cell phone, international fixed line service in the US over a period of 9 years from 2001 to 2010

It is clear that the figure for cell phone services incresed significantly, the opposite was true for international fixed line,whereas interntional fixed line still keep their stand over the period shown

In 2001, the averge of US residents spent on national fixed line was nearly 700$ comparison with mobile phones and international fixed line only around 200$. Over the next five years, the consumption amount of national fixed line fell by approximately 200$. In contrast, the figure for cell phone incresed roughly 300$. At the same time, yearly spending on international fixed line fluctating around 300$

In 2006, the amount consumers spent on cell phone and national fixed line was the same about 500$. From 2006 onwards, the figure for cell phone services was skyrocket nearly to 750$,while the average of national fixed line fell to 400$. During the period, international fixed line remained the same steady consumption.




Hannah Robjn 3 / 8  
Oct 13, 2020   #2
incresed
interntional
still keep
==> check your spelling and keep in mind to use past tense.

You use the word "spend on" too much.
"In 2001, the averge of US residents spent on
fluctating ==> again, spelling and past tense.

... consumers spent on cell ...
From 2006 onwards, ... services was skyrocket nearly to
... fixed line remained the same steady consumption." ==> grammar mistake and spelling.
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,758 3088  
Oct 14, 2020   #3
Although you wrote just the right number of words for this essay, you neglected to edit your paper before submitting it for review / grading. You have to understand that the more mistakes you make, the less you review your paper for errors that need to be corrected, the lack of obvious editing skills to help increase your final score, the more percentage deductions you will receive based on the individual scoring rubic. Multiple spelling errors, grammar structure problems, and lack of clarity in your thought presentations are what will prevent this essay from receiving a passing score. Do not rush the completion of this essay. Maximize the 20 minutes and use the remaining time to correct any errors you can find. You may not find all the errors, but those that you do manage to find and correct will help lower the percentage deductions in the individual scoring sections. It could help you avoid getting a failing score when the overall score is generated after the individual review of your presentation errors.

You are writing run-on sentences. You need to follow the proper writing format for this essay which is , by standard, 3 paragraphs with 3-5 sentences each. You only have 2 run on sentences per paragraph that shows a lack of grammar range and accuracy. This will definitely affect your final score in a major way.
OP elliemiller 1 / 1  
Oct 14, 2020   #4
@Hannah Robjn
Thanks for your feedback. Maybe i typed too fast so i made a lot unexpected mistakes. I will try my best to fix it


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