IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Banning phone calls in public places

phone calls should be prohibited in public areas

Some people believe that having a conversation on a mobile phone in a public or crowded place should be banned. Others feel that we should be able to talk wherever we like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern age, thanks to technology development, people can have a conversation on a phone whenever they want. Although the argument that we should be allowed to talk every time is acceptable, I absolutely agree that to prohibit phone calls in jam-packed places is necessary.

On the one hand, there is one main reason accounting for talking on a phone whenever we like. First of all, we cannot avoid receiving calls in emergency circumstances. Since mobile phones are now one of the most essential tools to keep in contact among people, in some emergency situations the fastest and most convenient way to announce people seems to be calling by mobile phones. If people are forced to ignore that call, it may seriously affect many aspects of their life, depending on who called them and what situations.

On the other hand, I completely believe that banning having a conversation in public can be advantageous. First and foremost, if phone calls in public are banned, crime rate regarding stealing phones may significantly decrease. Clearly, there is a likelihood that a phone can be robbed easily in a crowded place and due to the huge number of people, it will be challenging and even impossible to recognize as well as catch the thief immediately, so keeping phones in bags seems to avoid them being stolen. Additionally, to prohibit conversations on phones can help people enjoy the vibrant atmosphere of this crowded place. Since there are no longer any phone calls interrupting their attention, they would stay more focused as well as immerse themselves in this joy, which seems to be worthier than phone calls.

In summary, regardless of the reason for having a conversation whenever we like, I totally think that phone calls should be prohibited in the near future.

Thank you very much for reading. I am willing to receive your feedback. Thank you again

This is a public opinion discussion first, a personal opinion presentation last. That means, you have taken the wrong approach to the discussion presentation. The appropriate format for this essay is as follows:

- Give a discussion topic based on the public opinion
- Explain the public opinion
- Express your support or opposition for the general point of view
- Give an example to support your position
- Add a final note to your personal opinion

This test seeks to identify your grammar range when writing. That means, you are to use gender free pronouns for the public opinion, then use a variation of first person pronouns for your personal opinion presentation. In this essay, you mostly used the first person personal opinion presentation. Which means you are unintentionally lowering your GRA score. If you follow the format I am suggesting above, you should be able to get a better GRA and C&C score. The C&C scoring will come from the clarity of your presentation and connection of your discussion from the public to the personal point of view within a single paragraph.