writing ielts task 1: The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph demonstrates the proportion of people born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in different places namely cities, countryside, and towns over a 5-year period, starting in 1995.

Overall, the bar chart witnessed several changes after 5 years. It is also clear that the number of citizens who were born outside Australia and live in cities remained at the highest rate throughout the given course.

In 1995, the rate of people who were born in Australia living in cities stood at around 50% and grew slightly to over 60% in 2010, while the figure for people who were born outside Australia was considerably higher than it, with 60% initially and rose drastically by 20%, reaching 80% in the 5 following years

Regarding the percentage of citizens who were born in Australia and lived in towns and rural started out at approximately 20% and 35% respectively, after which suffered a dramatic drop and recorded having the same figure, nearly 18%. Similar patterns were also seen in the rates of people who were born outside Australia in towns and rural areas, with 18% for the former and 40% for the latter, both recorded in 1995. Then, those figures reduced sharply to under 15% and 10% respectively at the end of the period.

Thanks for your help

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The report is over written. You should not write more than 200 words for the task 1 essay. That is because writing more than that number of words means you will cut into your Task 2 writing time, risking an incomplete task 2 essay presentation, which might receive an automatic failing score if it is not completed in an accurate manner. Keep the task 1 essay short by learning to mentally time yourself while writing.

You misidentified the image as a graph, it is actually a bar chart. There is a difference between a chart and a graph. Make sure to accurately identify the image to avoid technical penalties. The summary is incomplete. It does not provide a closing year for the measures even as these were provided in the image.

Most of the deductions in scoring will be applied to the GRA section as each paragraph tends to use long sentences rather than individualized sentences that carry specific ideas within it. These major deductions could prevent the essay from achieving a passing score.

I think it should be the Australian population that witnessed (experienced/underwent) changes, not the bar chart.


The overview should include the people born in Australia as well, you can say "The city is the most popular place to live for both Australian and non-Australian people throughout five years."

@pthu553
The sentence "The bar chart witnessed several changes after 5 years" should be removed.
The overall paragraph should include 2 or 3 sentences.

Clarity and Precision: Be precise with your descriptions. Instead of saying "the bar chart witnessed several changes," specify what those changes are. For instance, you could say, "The bar chart illustrates fluctuating proportions of Australian-born and foreign-born residents across different residential areas over the span of five years."