bar graph task 1 spending money on entertainment

The graph below shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five-year period. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar graph illustrates us the expenditure of money on various kinds of amusing facilities from 1995 to 2000.
We can see that the highest amount of money was related to the United States, because it was over $250 billion in 2000 in comparison with the spending sum in the same country in 1995.

The situation in Europe and Asia looked approximately similar. In both regions was expended over $100 billion in 2000 and slightly less money in 1995.
The graph indicates that Publishing was the most popular sort of amusement in all regions. Television had been necessary as well. On the third place was Music. Video and Cinema did not differ to each other roughly.

Overall, from the given bar chart it is obviously that in certain regions people spent on several recreational activities more money than the others. But in all of them the most significant level of financial quantity belonged to such forms as Publishing and Television.

It is my first chart describing. I suggest there are a lot of unlinked thoughts. maybe I could not group them in correct way, but I spent on it 25 min (It is long I know:() and there are ~ 168 words

Would you telling me whether I might be successful in writing test in IELTS. It is very important for me. Could you assess y essay and tell me how much score I might got from it?

Thank you in advance!

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Try to use the same tenses in all essay. For example that Publishing was the most popular sort of amusement in all regions. Television had been necessary as well.

Hi,


The bar graph illustrates the expenditure on various kinds/types of entertainment/amusement in three different regions from 1995 to 2000. I think that "expenditure of money" is redundant.


I suggest you to put the overview paragraph right after the introduction and to modify it. You could say the two major points, (e.g. that US had the highest spending on entertainment during the period shown, while Asia had the lowest). The second point (which you actually mentioned) is that television and publishing were the forms of entertainment with the largest amount of expenditure in each region.

Then, you can write 2 paragraphs in which you give the details and make comparisons.

Hope this helps

oh so kind of you! I did not notice that. I have read lots of tips but did not follow them:(

I am so grateful to you! it is valuable information for me! but I become to be disappointed seeing how the score 0ver 7 goes away from me. now I am afraid much more than before.

Thank you all!