Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

today is a beautiful day and i want to eat sushi

myieltsw2sucks 1 / 1  
Apr 30, 2023   #1

In the era of booming technological developments and many other contemporary trends, it is undeniable that the world today is becoming more convenient and globalized; nonetheless, there are certain drawbacks and liabilities that such modernity may bring. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in the modern world.

First and foremost, advanced technology spearheads humanity toward a future-proof life. With the advent of new machinery, countless previoulsy burdensome and exasperating tasks can now be effortlessly done. Namely, accommodation, which before the introduction of the modern public transportation system was very problematic. Health care is also ameliorated by implementing cutting-edge medical equipment, granting immediate access to medical records, and dramatically heightening surgical accuracy. Thus, saving millions of lives.

On the other hand, in aid of today's massive demand for commercial goods, more powerhouses and factories have to be built in order to produce products quickly. Due to such an increase in construction, large amounts of waste gases and garbage are disposed into the environment, causing various pollutions such as air and water pollution, hence lowering living standards globally. Additionally, the pursuit of financial success in many countries pushes people to strive and work harder. This creates a competitive society and makes life more stressful, inherently reducing the happiness level.

In conclusion, along with the merits that advanced technology brings such as better healthcare and transportation system, our hectic world today is the cause of earth's deteriorating environment, and it also increases our stress level, making us less happy.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,956 4810  
May 1, 2023   #2
You have a tendency to write long and rambling sentences. These do not help with your score in the following sections:

1. Coherence + Cohesiveness
2. Grammar range and accuracy

Your tendency to keep on presenting evidence in a series, rather than an analytical manner has created problems for you. The required explanation falls short of full clarity because you are just writing away, meeting the word requirement, but not really threshing out your explanation. Sure you met the minimum count of 250 words. That means you did just the bare minimum to meet the test requirements, you did not do enough to meet high scoring requirements. That only happens when you write 275-300 words.

Home / Writing Feedback / today is a beautiful day and i want to eat sushi
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳