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Becoming an entrepreneur has been chosen by many people instead of being an employee



ifraanisa05 44 / 67  
Oct 27, 2016   #1
Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation. do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

Becoming an entrepreneur is a common job which has been chosen by many people instead of being an employee. Even starting a new business has many risks, i believe that the advantages for personal quality often outweigh than its disadvantages.

The disadvantages when starting a new business are the risk which will affect the start-up anytime. The main risk usually comes from the rival who has the similar company attack our business. They have the higher position than ours in the market. Another disadvantage is the fluctuation of market needs. Consumers' needs are always changing by the time. As an entrepreneur, making an innovation regularly will be a big challenge. If you cannot forecast the market and make an innovation, you will not survive in the business world.

On the other hand, there are several important reasons why you have to become an entrepreneur. The main reason is for improving your personal ability. When you start your business, you build your leadership skills. You have to follow your passion so that your ideas will improve your personal quality. Beside that, in entrepreneurship, you will have a flexible time. You can set up your schedule not only yours but also your employees. You will not tie up on the schedule and your personal skill will help you to arrange your time become efficient.

In conclusion, i think there are more advantages when we started to open our own business than the advantages. We can improve our personal quality by learning from the disadvantages which are shown before. We will earn much money with our hard skills and soft skills. People who are scare of many risks that will be caused by start-up business can choose the stable life being an employee of the company.

Mathew8 5 / 11  
Oct 27, 2016   #2
Hello ifraanisa05
I have a twice of advice to your essay

The main reason is for improving your personal ability
...I think better if you change your sentence like that---->>>> The main reason is because it can improve your personal ability

we started to
....almost there are three times you use started. better if you change to our word that have similiar meaning like begin.
Wilyaftika23 46 / 31  
Oct 29, 2016   #3
Hi,

who has the similar company that attack our business
In this sentence, attack is verb, so it is better to give conjunction.

... rival who has the similar company attack our business
In this sentence, our is refer to? because there is no explanation about our in the previous sentence

There are good structure and use several transition, but it is better for you to give example to support your idea

good luck :)


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