Unanswered [14] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


BEGINNER- WRITING TASK 2 - Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism


Cloudyy93 1 / -  
Sep 7, 2021   #1

Different opinions about tourism



In recent years, tourism has increased so much and that brings the economy a lot of benefits. However, there is a debate about its negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. In my point of view, the good of tourism is bigger than the bad it obtains.

Firstly, tourism brings the local and the government profit that can raise the local's life and give people more choice of work. In some ethnic areas, women don't have much chance to work, all they can do is housekeeper or take care of their children, which is not bring profit. But when tourism develops, women can make handicrafts, clothes, instruments... to sell for the tourist and take some money.

Secondly, tourism itself does not cause damage to the environment or the local inhabitants. These problems are caused by the unawareness of tourists. In fact, we can not stop people from wasting trash by close all the travel destinations. On the other hand, the profit tourism brings can be used to regenerate and maintain the beauty of these places or make a media campaign to raise people's awareness of protecting tourist's nature.

As shown above, one understands that the development of tourism has tremendous impacts on the economy and should not try to claim all false caused by people to tourism.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Sep 9, 2021   #2
the economy

An economic discussion was not stated in the original prompt. The reference is for a general advantage reference. The restatement should do the same. This is a restatement inaccuracy that will affect the task score.

obtains

Improper vocabulary and word usage. Obtain is a verb that refers to an act that allows a person to come into possession of; get, acquire, or procure, as through an effort or by a request. One of the more appropriate references would have been u recieves" As in "the image it recieves" in reference to a public opinion. This is an elementary word usage error.

the local and the government

The local what? Community? Industry? there is a missing subject here.

don't

Contractions cannot be used in academic writing. Use both words instead.

On the other hand,

Improper phrase usage.Grammar error. The correct word would have been " Rather" an elementary advert that refuseto an act reflective of a more appropriate, proper, or better reasoning suggestion.


Home / Writing Feedback / BEGINNER- WRITING TASK 2 - Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳