Ielts Task 2 about studying a foreign language at primary school
Because there is not enough space for me to write the whole title, I would rewrite it here: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Thank you for checking my essay. And what band score I could get? Thanks
These days, it is believed that children should start learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than junior high schools. While this is disadvantageous to a certain extent, the advantages are much more significant.
On the one hand, studying an overseas language at primary schools could make children suffer from language disorders. Although they are not sure about their mother tongue, they have to learn another new language, causing the fact that they may not control both languages and easily be misunderstood by other people. As a result, it may affect the children's development in terms of language.
However, the disadvantages of studying another language might be eclipsed by its benefits. Children are young; hence, they find it easy to absorb a foreign language in primary schools. Therefore, they are more likely to become bilingual faster than those who begin learning another language in their later age. A recent survey by Cambridge University found that chidren studying another language in their early age tend to be multilingual than others. Another merit is that children could use time wisely when studying an overseas language. In primary schools, there may be very little things or tasks for children to do; hence, it is better to give children a task or a lesson about learning a new language, which may prevent them from doing other detrimental activities, such as watching screens or playing video games.
In conclusion, there are some disadvantages of learning another language at primary schools. However, these drawbacks are outweighed by the abovementioned benefits.
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While this is disadvantageous to a certain extent,
This response is meant for an extent of agreement or disagreement essay. It is improperly used in this opinion statement. Only the last part is relevant to the discussion presentation. A reformatting of the response is required. The restatement part does not fully change all the keywords so those will be scored low as cutand paste phrases.
On the one hand
This is not a comparative essay. Present only reasons that support your opinion. This paragraph becomes the basis of a failing TA score as you have just confused the reader about your actual opinion.
might be eclipsed
Another failing score source based on TA reasons. The TA is scared based on the clear support of your opinion. This connotes uncertainty and lack of opinion clarity in a manner that will make the overall essay recieve a failing overall score, regardless of the remaining scoring aspects.
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