It is believed that daredevil sports, such as skydiving or skiing, should be restricted

Extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is believed that daredevil sports, such as skydiving or skiing, should be restricted because of the threats they pose to players. I disagree with this viewpoint because imposing a ban on these sports may create some repercussions.

Admittedly, if people are prevented from playing extreme sports, they can better protect their lives. Every year, hundreds of people die while engaging in activities such as bungee jumping or skydiving. This happens because they do not adhere to safety precautions or lack life-saving equipment. Even if they have had proper preparation before participating in these games, the risk of serious injuries is still considerably high. Owing to these reasons, a ban needs to be implemented on these types of sports, so that people can stay safe and avoid severe damage to their bodies.

However, I believe that the banning decision is unwise since it might result in some disadvantages. It first renders many people lose their livelihoods. For example, athletes in extreme sports would be unable to participate in relevant professional competitions, thus not earning the prize money that helps sustain their livings. Store owners who sell gears such as helmets, parachutes, or safety gloves also have to stop running their businesses, thereby losing substantial profits. Second, many individuals can no longer practice their habits of playing daredevil sports to relieve stress or to satisfy their adventurous nature. This may lead to widespread disappointment and a series of negative feelings that cannot be appeased. Apparently, the community would not be benefited if extreme sports were not allowed to be played.

In conclusion, I do not concur with the proposed statement. Although a prohibition of participation in such sports enables people to escape grave dangers to their lives, it should not be put into practice because of the adverse impacts it causes.

The question was "To what extent?". A simple disagreement does not suit the question response. The format for the presentation must state the strength by which the writer believes in his personal opinion. Is it an unwavering belief? A strong disagreement?A vehement opposition? That is the "extent" of your response. Good work on the preliminary reason presentation though. You clearly showed an understanding of the topic and its related discussion point (s).

The essay will be considered under explained. The first reasoning paragraph is not related to the writer's opinion whereas the second paragraph, clearly supports his opinion. So the previous paragraph will not receieve a score due to irrelevance. The second paragraph is well developed, but needs another supporting reason to show that the writer has the ability to present a cohesive discussion, which, right now, is missing due to the unrelated first paragraph discussion.


The writer's strength of conviction is missing again. That has to be restated in the conclusion as a part of the summary recap.

@Holt
So if I present a strong disagreement, I have to include both disagreeing points, right? Also, this is my first time trying ielts writing so I still need to learn a lot about the writing format

@Holt
Anyway, this is a re-edited version, is it better than the original one?

It is believed that daredevil sports such as skydiving and skiing should be restricted because of their dangerous nature. Although I agree that these sports pose considerable risks to players, I think they should not be banned at all.

Admittedly, extreme sports are truly perilous and may threaten the lives of any participants. They mostly involve life-threatening physical maneuvers such as jumping off from high altitude or traveling at tremendously high speed. If players are careless or lack some of the protective gears such as helmets or body armors while performing them, they might face the risk of being seriously injured or losing their lives. Because of these reasons, there are many warning signs at every extreme sports site to remind people of the dangers they can suffer from. Apparently, that playing extreme sports is unsafe is a widely acknowledged one.

However, I believe that a banning decision on these types of sports should not be implemented because of these following reasons. First, they are not as risky as they might seem. This is because there are several ways to mitigate their danger. For example, people can have special training sessions with the professionals before engaging in extreme sports, and their entire playing process must be placed under strict supervision by the safety staff. Second, supposed the government proceeds to prohibit these sports, it may face rigorous public opposition. Such waves of protest are mainly from people who consider playing extreme sports a way to satisfy their thirst for adventure, and they would view the prohibition as a violation of their human rights. Thus, it would be unwise to make extreme sports against the rules.

In conclusion, though I subscribe to the viewpoint that extreme sports are hazardous, I think there is no need to enact a ban on them because of the reasons mentioned above.