I would be grateful for some feedback. Thank you!
3. Many people form a list of once-in-a-lifetime activities to accomplish. For example, individuals on the admissions staff hope to visit all the national parks, publish a fiction novel or waddle with penguins in Antarctica. What are a few of the items on your list?
A few items on my once-in-a-lifetime activities to accomplish include visit all fifty states, compete in Iron Chef America and trace my history. I first became interested in traveling to all fifty states while watching television. I would watch the travel shows featuring towns throughout the United States, tasting the flavors of the food at highlighted restaurants or talking to the residents. Visualizing a road trip to some of these places, I was intrigued by the sights each town had to offer. From the Petrified Forest in Arizona, Mammoth Cave in Kentucky, and Harpers Ferry in West Virginia, I want to experience the beauty of my own country. I love food, eating it, discussing it and most importantly, cooking it. I am always testing new recipes and creating my own which is why I would like to compete in Iron Chef America. With sixty minutes to complete five dishes and a secret ingredient, I could surely beat world renonwed chefs. I would like for Henry Louis Gates Jr. to perform genealogy search and find from which part of Africa my ancestors originated. Once I receive the results, my next step is to travel to that region of Africa with my family.
5. Why are you interested in attending the University of Notre Dame?
Why I have chosen to apply to the University of Notre Dame is simple: it is one of the finest institutions to study engineering, my intended major. As a student, I would have access to vast resources and a chance to interact with accomplished professors. From my first visit to campus freshman year of high school, I have been highly impressed by the charming college setting. The attitude of the students who attended Notre Dame piqued my interest, displaying a warm, friendly feeling. One of the best pieces of advice I received from a student was to apply for a research grant during my undergraduate studies. Not only would I be able to direct an engineering study but also travel abroad. Equally important are the various clubs and activities on campus. I like that I can be a member of the Symphony Orchestra even though I am a non-Music majors. Another aspect on my decision to attend Notre Dame is the extensive active alumni association.
I continually imagine myself eating in the delicious food in South Dining Hall again, at a Fighting Irish football game, praying to "Touchdown Jesus" or finally walking up the stairs of the Main Building after graduation. Everything I look for in a college is at Notre Dame and I do not want to miss the opportunity.
It's very fragmented. You should check your grammer errors like compete should be competing, visit should be visiting or I want to visit all 50 states. Publish a fictional novel, or just erase fictional.
Except for a few grammar errors, I think it's pretty great. I like the diversity in your "items on your list" essay and I like how you were informed about all little details about Notre Dame that only a really interested applicant would know, that'll definitely help you, you look like you did your research. Overall, I love it!
