Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

It is believed by most of people that work is the main part of their adult life


Adhisti 20 / 19 2  
May 1, 2015   #1
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?


It is believed by most of people that work is the main part of their adult life and they spend much time to do their work. However, the essential element of individual well-being is also determined by satisfaction when people do their jobs. Whilst the first statement is utterly true, I would argue that many factors contribute to job satisfaction, such as people work in an appropriate field and obtain suitable income from their jobs. Then, the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers is usually about the increasing of the income and the companies provide facilities which support people's lives.

The first factor which gives satisfaction is that people work in an appropriate field. People, for instance, work in field which is related to their educational backgrounds will produce the great outcome because they understand what they do precisely and attempt several methods to become experts in that field. Furthermore, another factor such gaining suitable salaries is really significant to improve people's comfortable at work. Also, people can complete their necessities with current income that they need. There is no doubt that job can deal with people's satisfaction through those factors.

Turning to the expectation of job satisfaction, people have a great expectation like to achieve the increasing of the income in particular period of their work. Moreover, the best dedication of people becomes a reason which they can get the huge hopefulness. Besides, people also think that the companies where they work will provide several facilities which can encourage their lives, such as house, car service, or medical insurance so as to improve people's performance at workplace.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that both factors such as people work in a particular field which they can show the professionalism in their jobs and achieve great income are a pivotal element to achieve well-being at work. I also strongly believe that the expectation of contentment toward jobs is more reasonable and related to an increase in salary and the attention of the companies for all workers.
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
May 1, 2015   #2
I read each sentence and I'm hoping you will be pleased with the feedback.I had to use a dash(-) to help you change your sentences. Follow along word for word in each sentence to see the changes that need to be made.

1st paragraph: 1st sentence: Change to "most people" and "a main part". I would also end this sentence with adult life. Start a new sentence discussing how they spend many hours doing work. 2nd sentence: Another way to say it is, "satisfaction when people do their jobs" is job satisfaction. 3rd sentence: I think you need to mention what you mean by an appropriate field. Is this their chosen field? 4th sentence: What are you referring to when you mention facilities? Do you mean better work environments that focus on the employees well being?

2nd paragraph: 1st sentence: If you discuss job satisfaction, you want to mention that this occurs when people work in their chosen field. When you state an appropriate field, this is too vague. 2nd sentence: who work in a field- that will have the greatest-their field. 3rd sentence: such as-comfort level 4th sentence: I wouldn't use the word complete. I believe you are trying to say that they can afford their basic necessities. 5th sentence: The last sentence is too confusing. It needs to be summarized better.

3rd paragraph: I'm going to suggest changing this paragraph. I'm going to summarize what I think you are trying to say. Ex: People want to achieve a higher income. It seems like they become more dedicated when this occurs. They like the perks that come from working at their companies (higher income, medical insurance, etc). Basically, the company helps them to afford their lifestyle. When you make changes, keep the reader in mind. I hope my summary help to give you ideas.

4th paragraph: This 1st sentence is pretty good! I would just simplify it by stating, "people working in their chosen field and achieving greater income". However, what are you referring to when you discuss contentment toward jobs? Is contentment related to increased pay and promotions or company perks?
OP Adhisti 20 / 19 2  
May 3, 2015   #3
thank you for some advice..


Home / Writing Feedback / It is believed by most of people that work is the main part of their adult life