Besides generate money, business also have duty on doing many activities which do wonder for society

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

not only financial, but social benefits also needed

There is an opinion that besides generate money, businesses also have duty on doing many activities which do wonder for society. From my point of view, I agree with it completely.

On the one hand, making money is a fundamental principle of any firms. In term of benefits for society, the more income the companies make, the more taxes they have to pay. It is in line with the more revenue for government to spend in crucial fields: education, health care, national defence...just to name a few. Moreover, if the enterprises have more capital, they can expand their business by establishing more subsidiaries, involving more aspects. As the results, there will be more necessity of employees and the lack of job opportunity can be solved.

On the other hand, the second vital thing that businesses have to do is accepting their social responsibilities. Firstly, businesses can make substantially effects on our environment in serious trend. To be more precise, if the factory emissions and industrial waste are not manipulated in reasonable way, the environment will be contaminated especially the global warming, air and water pollution. The organism which is harmed most seriously, no one else, is human. Secondly, the firms which make profits should put money back into the community through philanthropic actions such as charity and financing scholarships because there are many children who are lack of education, many students who have not enough money to maintain their studying. In fact, many corporations such as Unilever and Vinamilk have acted these things so other ones should do along.

In conclusion, generating the profits is very important, in addition, guaranteeing the social benefits must not be taken for granted

I don't understand your conclusion. "guaranteeing the social benefits must not be taken for granted" it shows you are not fully supporting the idea of social benefits which you agreed to in the opening statement. Please consider changing to reflect your primary decision.

Here are some corrections for you to consider:
... principle of any firm.
In terms of benefit to the society
As a result, there will be more job opportunities for the public and the issue of unemployment can be resolved.
Firstly, businesses can substantially affect our environment.

To be more precise, factory emissions and industrial wastes are polluting the air and water and leading to global warming.

Trinh, you misunderstood how to approach the prompt question and succeeding discussion. Since this is only a simple agree or disagree essay, the response does not need to be an emotional "agree with it completely". A simple "I agree with it" would have been sufficient. Only the extent essays need the strong emotional description for your response. Unless the instruction clearly indicates "To what extent do you agree or disagree?", you don't have to use emotional descriptive responses.

Next, this is a single point of view essay. That means the next 2 succeeding body paragraphs should be presenting evidence only for the side that you support. The only time you have to do a comparative discussion is when the instruction indicates: "Discuss both points of view and your personal opinion". If you do not see that instruction then there is no need to do a comparative discussion in the essay. The simple agree/disagree instructions are only 4 paragraphs long while the comparative discussion is usually 5 paragraphs long. There lies the difference in discussion approach.

Your concluding paragraph is incomplete. You do not even have a punctuation mark at the end which means you either ran out of time while writing or you were just careless and neglected to review your paper for potential errors before submission. The concluding paragraph should be a summary of the preceding discussion so it should not be an incomplete presentation as you have it now. This should have at least 3 sentences explaining:

1. Discussion topic
2. Reason for the discussion
3. Supporting reason
4. Repeat of your personal opinion

This is a good attempt but there is a tremendous room for improvement in your work. The above advice is meant to help you get on track with correcting your format, writing, and sentence development mistakes. You should find yourself getting better with each practice test that we review here provided you follow the advice you are given.